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I wrote something (I'M STILL LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GUY) in my last post with the intent of trying to be funny. But it kind of back fired on my, because some of my LJ friend's (who I've grown to love dearly), brought out some very important and serious issues which really got me thinking.

This is my reply to you:

I am pretty good at spotting a jerk or a nice guy; after all, I was in the Army for four years, and there were boys galore!

The things I find most attractive in a guy, has nothing to do with looks. It is said that the eyes are the mirrors of the soul, and it is very true. When I look into a person's eyes, I can pretty much tell whether he's a nice guy or a jerk. Sure, I have sometimes found myself attracted to good looking men, but I am attracted to personality much more than physical looks. Guys who have a foul mouth, or are interested in me because they are ONLY sexually attracted to me or who give wolf whistles, turn me totally off completely.

Friendship is the foremost important aspect in a relationship. The physical is totally unimportant. Honesty, humility, respect, fun loving, a caring smile, and unconditional acceptance of ones inadequacies,and a non-controlling personality, are of the utmost importance.

I have met guys who other girls found unattractive. I on the other hand, have found them to be the most attractive because I have seen all those good qualities that I find so important. Those that treat the opposite sex with respect and dignity is what's most appealing to me and that's what I find sexy.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I am considered pretty by many, and maybe I am, but that doesn't make me a good candidate for becoming a person's one and only. I am not perfect; in fact, I'm a totally screwed up inside. To lead a guy into believing that I could possibly fall in love with him would be cruel. Maybe someday, I'll conquer those ghosts in my life that make it pretty impossible for me to feel and react as most girls do. My unpredictability's and inconsistencies do not make me a good potential girlfriend for anybody. But, one good thing about me is, that I can sometimes make people laugh. Another good thing about me is that am not capable of hurting anyone's feelings intentionally, and it pains me terribly, to see someone in pain, because I KNOW what pain is.

I sometimes wonder why society assumes that a man and a woman should live together or be married. Just as you, my LJ friend's have seen that I'm constantly harping that I will never fall in love or worst yet, marry, my personal REAL life friends here, hear it from me, also. It's kind of become my protective shield, because the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt anybody's feelings.

On a happier note, it's kind of funny, but I really have developed an awesome crush on 3 of my LJ friends. I've even shared these naughty feelings I have for them to my best friend Lolly, Norma and Glory. I love having these feelings for them because I feel so safe knowing that I'm sitting here in (my world) front of my computer, and they are somewhere out there in their world, and they have no idea who they are. Without even meeting these 3 guys in person, I KNOW down deep in my heart that they are the nicest guys around. I could care less what they look like. The only thing that touches my heart is someone WITH A HEART!

I find those who make fun of a person's intelligence or appearance, are the ones whose insides are filled with maggots. I have studied this type of person and have found that they have never been exposed to the HARD knocks of life, that is, not yet. BUT, there day will eventually come, and that's the time they will learn how to feel compassion and acceptance for others.

I once let a REALLY nice guy slip right through my fingers. We knew each other since high school and I do believe he really and truly loved me. He wanted to have a serious relationship with me, but I told him that maybe someday, but for now, I wasn't ready for that kind of stuff. We continued seeing each other, as friends for a long time.

One day, he handed me an envelope with a paper in it. This is what it said:

Love to many means one thing
to a few it means another
It is not difficult to describe
this love I feel for you

I consider it a true love
even though you are not mine
to partake of in a physical way
nor would I feel comfortable
in doing so, even if by pure chance

But, I feel even more privileged
that I have your mind and heart
For we soar to great heights
when we share our intellects

We can look into each others eyes
and see true friendship reflected back
such a closeness that few ever share
We know we can rely on each other
and that knowledge grows every day

We can share laughter and tears
comfort each other without hesitation
confess our innermost secrets
and seek each others opinions
without worry of breach of confidence

I can take your hand in mine
and even though I hold it tight
you know it's real meaning
that I am there for you always
through thick and thin
A friend to share life's cares and woes

Such closeness is not easily found
So, I treasure your company
and I'm glad you call me friend
I long to listen to your sweet voice
and look upon your beautiful face

Listen intently to your every word
Hold fast in my heart your fears
partake with you the joyous times
Dry your eyes when tears flow
and smile with you when you smile so

He didn't wait for me to get my act together; he died. It was his DESTINY.

I lost two of the people who loved me most in this life, last year in January; F., and my mother.


So, to all the NICE guys who still exist, NEVER stop being a NICE guy 'cause in the end, it will be most probable that you'll end up with a NICE girl!

Those guys, who ARE NOT NICE, eventually get old and are left with a bag of NICE CRAP.

There are so many NICE girls out there, looking for a NICE GUY.
Believe me, I KNOW this for a fact!

I am totally content with my brothers, my male and female friends, my pets and my Grandpa right now, but, should the day ever come that I find myself ready to share my life with a special someone, it WILL be with a NICE guy FOR SURE!

I will link a past entry again, for those who would like to know more about my personal life.


AND, my USER INFO. still stands, but it's possible that it could change in the far future.

Befitting Quotes For Today:

"We will make great advances forward when we can
do like the man who said, "When I feel like finding
fault, I always being with myself and then I never
get any further."

"There is so much good in the worst of us,
and so much bad in the best of us,
that it ill becomes any of us
to find fault with the rest of us."
- Robert Louis Stevenson


"The Right Of The People To Keep and
Bear Arms, Shall Not Be infringed."

U.S. Army
Join the U.S. Army

Sexy Legs Playgirl


( 49 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 6th, 2006 12:38 am (UTC)
I know exactly where you're coming from!
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:16 pm (UTC)
I know you do!
Jan. 6th, 2006 12:42 am (UTC)
My $0.02
I like to consider myself a nice guy, or at least I hope I am one. I got the intended humor in your last entry, but I can understand how some could have taken it a bit differently. I think the problem with alot of people is that they base how happy they are on having or lacking a relationship. So much so that they'll compromise themselves and ultimately real happines in favor of a crappy relationship just so they don't feel alone. I used to do it myself, and my last crappy relationship was a result of that kind of thinking. Now I'm beginning to adjust to being happy with myself, first and foremost, until I find that nice girl I'm looking for. Sure I get lonely, but I'd rather be by myself and feel lonely than be with someone and feel completely alone.
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:21 pm (UTC)
Re: My $0.02
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<u><font color=">"Sure I get lonely, but I'd rather be by myself and feel lonely than be with someone and feel completely alone."</u></font>

I loved you're expression, I couldn't of said it better.

And I have a feeling that you ARE a NICE guy!
Hugs and smooches!
Jan. 6th, 2006 01:54 am (UTC)
It is kind of funny. I am a nice, sweet guy. I have been told by many women how great I am, how I would make a great father, etc. Of course, they would not date me. They would tell me I was not their "type".

I am getting old and I am ending up with a bag of nice crap.

The really sad thing is all I really want is a family with someone I love who loves me. And, it seems to be the one thing I can have.
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:30 am (UTC)
Still Reading -
Still Thinking.......

May have some thoughts on Your thoughts.....

Also need a unit here that works so I can
follow that link You posted.....
OR -
do yYu have it's posting date?
I think I can find it that way.....

Change of topic???? -
How's the backyard doing?
I remember!!!!
{Just checking back on an old topic.....}

Take Care, M'Lady.....

It's cool knowing there are three
people out in the LJ world whom You groove.....
So neat.....
Yeah - that dates me......

Blessings Be.....
Jan. 6th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Hmnnnnnn.........
I didn't realize I had the links all messed up. I've already corrected them.

Yes, I've dubbed these 3 crushes, "The Three Great Downy Pillows of Playgirl!" I had only two, so I went yesterday to Costco's and bought the third one. Now, when I wake up in the morning, I can give each and everyone of my Secret Crushes, a big hug and a kiss! I know, I'm spoooky! haaaaa

I shall find out in the spring how the trees that are left, are doing. I'm going to hire some men to come and (I don't know the name in english) PODAR (in spanish), (cut the limbs down close to the trunk itself) them.

I also plan on buying fertilizer for my remaining pecan trees.

Would you believe that just a few weeks ago, the leaves came down!? It hasn't been cold at all here in El Paso. Right now, the sun is shining full blast and it's pretty warm! All I've had to wear so far, is a very light sweater, and still it becomes too hot by noon!

Well, I don't think it's good that we haven't had the REAL winter come upon us. We need rain and snow!

Hugs and smooooches my colorful Poinsettia with a little branch of mistletoe on it's top!
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:34 am (UTC)
There is something for you in my journal.
Jan. 6th, 2006 04:35 pm (UTC)
I will be there soon. I have to give great thought to my response.
Hugs and smooches Sweety Pie!
(no subject) - playgirl - Jan. 10th, 2006 12:36 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2006 03:29 am (UTC)
The trouble with being a nice guy is it puts you on the endangered species list; It seems we don't reproduce enough in the Wild!
Jan. 6th, 2006 06:58 am (UTC)
It seems we don't reproduce enough in the Wild!
(no subject) - playgirl - Jan. 6th, 2006 02:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lordremo - Jan. 6th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - playgirl - Jan. 6th, 2006 10:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2006 03:34 am (UTC)
I am crushed. I have to be nice? Well, I suppose I could try. But, enough about me let's talk about you. Just because you need the space and the time to get in touch with who you are and what you would bring to a relationship doesn't make you strange. It makes you real, and very very smart. If you can't tell yourself who you are, and know that you are right then any relationship that you enter into is doomed to fail. If the idea of a relationship makes you uncertain then remaining alone is the thing you should do. Are you pretty? Well damn, yes you are. You have beautiful hair, not to belabor the point but you have a very nice body and sexy legs. At this point I'll make you a deal. I won't mention your looks in detail if you do me the honor of allowing me my opinion. If you don't feel beautiful there is nothing I can do to convince you. But, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and to me you are everything a woman should be to qualify as beautiful. So physically you got it goin' on. But that isn't what draws me to you. What draws me is your love for others. Your kindness to animals. Your willingness to share your life with others for their betterment. I love it that you are pro gun. Not because I am but because your reasoning for being pro gun is sound. I love it that you have bought a place and want it to be your private paradise, and have worked hard towards that goal. When I look at who you are, your views and stances on issues I am much more drawn to you than I would be by the view down your shirt. Not to say I'm not interested in that view it's just your ideas are much more sexy. I harp on you about seeing your face. But the eyes are the windows to the soul and I just bet you have beautiful eyes because you have a beautiful soul. So remember that who you are includes all the kindness you show to others and when you decide that you are ready for a relationship you will bring to the table a person who should be valued and cherished. Don't settle for anything less.
Jan. 6th, 2006 04:23 pm (UTC)
Being a NICE guy is in you blood, bones and your every breath!

I had written this long sentence in this post, but immediately deleted it
because it really didn't have much to do with the topic.

Somebody once brought up the word DESTINY in a community. I gave my
opinion on what DESTINY means to me. I stated that we DO NOT have control
of our DESTINY at all. This person got very upset with me and almost bit
my head off, stating that we DO have control of our DESTINY. I never
bothered to respond because it would have been a waste of my time.

This has been my personal experience with my DESTINY:

I mentioned to one of my LJ friends that sometimes, events happen in our life that molds us into something we don't like, and cannot change. It all has to do with destiny. In my case, I wasn't always as I am now. Something happened in my life a long time ago, that changed my whole way of thinking and feeling. It is NOT true that one controls his own destiny. Destiny CONTROLS us. Sure, we can possibly control certain things, such as education, career, etc., but we CANNOT control LIFE. It is destiny that controls when we will die. It is destiny that decides whether we lose a loved one in a car accident tomorrow. It is destiny that will decide if we will ever experience personal violence from someone. As I mentioned before, I experienced violent crime as a child. I didn't choose this horrific thing to happen to me, but it was my destiny to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time. My mother had no control of her destiny, a year ago this month. Destiny controlled her, and she died when she wasn't supposed to die, just as I have had no control over the heartbreak I’m going through now at having lost her. It was my destiny to find a dying man outside his front porch. Of all the people on this earth that could of been there instead of me, I continue to ask myself, "why me, Lord?!" I tried everything I could to save him, but he died right there in my arms. It was his destiny to die and it was my destiny to unexpectedly experience sheer anguish! It was my destiny to know, once upon a time, what it feels like, to have had on numerous ocassions, have a car load of hoodlums drive up to me, and give me menacing looks with their UGLY RAT FACES. I knew they had a gun, (I had done something that made them very angry at me) and I waited for them to shoot me. Obviously, they didn't cause I'm here sharing these things with you. I NEVER chose these things; destiny CHOSE them for me!

Thank you for you comments, they touched me dearly! One LJ friend stated
that our heart's are more valuable than gold. This is so true, so one
must take great care when it comes to a serious, romantic relationship!
Hugs and kisses! I value your friendship soooo very much!
(no subject) - inspectorjury - Jan. 8th, 2006 06:08 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2006 04:24 am (UTC)
I am really bad at spotting nice guys/jerks.

I have this belief that everyone is nice. and yes, it has lead to some not so happy outcomes, but on the whole I would like to believe that people are good and nice.

I once fell in love with a married man :) we are still friends. he has the most glorious laugh!! hearing it just makes me smile. I love people like that. My next boyfriend, he is going to make me smile :D

I think be how you are as ong you are happy. Everyone deserves to be happy .. and everyone should be open to change! hehe - well thats what I think :p
Jan. 6th, 2006 03:12 pm (UTC)
I'm really good at spotting the jerks!

They all posses certain traits.
A good rule of thumb in spotting one is(THESE ARE JUST A FEW):

1. They don't respect and show love towards their mother.
2. They are cruel to animals.

3. They are more concerned about looking PRETTY, than they are in their date's appearance.
There was this one time when I failed to see the JERK in the one guy that I went out with.
I caught him admiring himself in this little compact mirror! UGGY!

4. They try to portray themselves as REAL MACHO men.
5. AND THIS ONE TELLS ME A WHOLE LOT: When they have their shirt unbuttoned half way to expose half their chest. OH, AND THIS ONE TOO: They wear a THICK gold chain around their neck. I don't mean the kind that has a thin chain with a Cross, etc. on it!
Hugs Sweety Pie!
(no subject) - cris_nicewelts - Jan. 6th, 2006 04:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - playgirl - Jan. 6th, 2006 04:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - cris_nicewelts - Jan. 6th, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sweeny_todd - Jan. 6th, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2006 04:28 am (UTC)
Caution is hardly a sin; a heart is the most vulnerable part of a human being. A strong heart helps one outlast circumstance that would otherwise overwhelm, a weak heart hinders even the simplest personal challenge.

However, caution at the wrong time immunizes us against the chance of finding love, while leaving one's heart wide open risks the average jerk coming along and breaking it.

How does one choose the right balance to strike between caution and openess? Sadly, I'm not one to know; I'm very recently divorced. I can only say that you need to know what you're getting into when you're getting into it. No, it won't hurt any less should the worst come to pass, but I believe your chances of getting by the experience without severe emotional trauma will be that much better. And love or lost love, you will be stronger.
Jan. 6th, 2006 03:21 pm (UTC)
You are so right when you say that our heart is our most valuable possession. We take such care in not squandering our hard earned money; why can't we do the same with our heart?

I believe you eventually DID find that right balance.
One must make a few mistakes in order to learn where that balance is.

By and by, how wise you are!
Hugs Sweety Pie!
Jan. 6th, 2006 05:33 am (UTC)
You're absolutely precious.

Jan. 6th, 2006 02:39 pm (UTC)
I think you are, too!!
Huggy's Sweety Pie!
Jan. 6th, 2006 06:30 am (UTC)
*hugs you close*

My dear friend, I love the sweet, spirited, fiercely independent you. Please stay that way no matter what happens. Actually, I know you will stay that way no matter what happens. That's just another reason why I love you.
Jan. 6th, 2006 03:26 pm (UTC)
And I love you because I know who and what you are...
(no subject) - poetpaladin - Jan. 6th, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - playgirl - Jan. 6th, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - poetpaladin - Jan. 7th, 2006 03:02 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2006 08:22 am (UTC)
*wonders if he could ever achieve top 3 status*
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:42 pm (UTC)
You never know. All things are possible; just maybe, you already achieved it!
Hugs Sweety Pie!
(no subject) - leicester_lad - Jan. 9th, 2006 10:03 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2006 08:52 am (UTC)
Darling... and I call you that because, in my heart, you are just that... my darling... In my own life, Aileen has saved my life many times with being mentally ill and with my back pain being so severe. I first attempted suicide when I was just 5 years old. But it would be another 7 years before the doctors would realize that I was born with mental illness, as well as being born a hunchback, which they did not find out until I was 17. But, as I said, Aileen, saves my life every single day.

Prior to meeting Aileen, I drifted... I had 4 marriages to different women, all of whom where quite good looking. So much so that they became the dominant personality in the marriage. In ALL of the marriages, due to my being so afraid of women and girls, I became quite subserviant. This is NOT really the case with Aileen, because she understands all of this about me, and goes out of her way to make sure that I don't have to feel those feelings. But the point is...

For years I tried to convince myself that if a girl would look a certain way, that she'd be a certain way... and I tried, as you, to use the eyes to make that determination. From my youth, the bodies of women didn't really matter to me. I always found their heads, eyes, and hair to be far more interesting and attractive. And often it would be those things that would truly interest me and give rise to passionate feelings. But, as I said, I made many horrible mistakes... Leah, my daughter, was born from 1 of these marriages. And I have, to this very day, kept in pretty much constant contact with her, letting her know every single day how much of a miracle in my life she is.

I've never seen you. But from knowing you these few years as I have, I know, in my heart and my mind, that you are truly a very lovely looking lady, and one with a heart that shines so brightly in our world... so brightly indeed. Of all my friends, you are truly one of the few who I have always felt deserves the BEST man there is... words tend to fail me when I try to express my love for others... and it's true with you. For my love for you as a dear friend, sister, and part of my heart is so profound that it's very hard to put it into words.

I'm an old man now... but my heart is still young, and reaches out to you, my darling sister...don't ever give up sweetheart. I just know, inside, that you will, when you least expect it, meet someone who, when you look into their eyes, you will see things that you have waited so long to see... I just know this. As I said when I first saw Aileen at 8:45pm on November 27th, 1993, when I took her in my arms...

"You smell like home..."

"Why that's because you are my dear...".

And from that moment to this, we have never ever been apart...

I just know you'll find your knight....

Love always,

Jan. 6th, 2006 02:59 pm (UTC)
See Mickey, the phrase "Nice guys finish last" is just NOT true!

You are a prime example, because you are among the NICEST guys around. You were married 4 different times, and never gave up; you eventually found that very special woman, Aileen!

As I said when I first saw Aileen at 8:45pm on November 27th, 1993, when I took her in my arms...
"You smell like home..."
"Why that's because you are my dear...".

That sent goose pimples throughout my body!
I was just so beautiful!
I love you, too, dear, dear Mickey!

Give your beautiful wife a big hug for me, for being such a NICE gal to a very NICE guy!
(no subject) - nam_erehwon_eht - Jan. 6th, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2006 01:50 pm (UTC)
""I lost two of the people who loved me most in this life, last year in January; F., and my mother.""

I am sorry for your loss.

I have 3 daughters so I understand a little of what you mean.
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

January has somehow become a very tough month for me.

This past year, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Birthday's, Christmas, and the New Year were very hard on my family. These TWO very special people we lost, were always in our lives to celebrate.

I'll be so glad when this month is over!

As for you having 3 daughters, I know you understand what I meant in this post.
Hugs my friend!
Jan. 6th, 2006 04:26 pm (UTC)
Ms. Playgirl just go live with the french and be like them. Take several lover, leave a few, be solitary for a while.

Have a date and fun with all the mr. right nows.

I never thought I would be married - 8 yrs this june. I liked him very much (a "nice" guy - which just turns out to mean quieter/calmer not necessarily nice), but I just thought I was too bitch/butch (LOL) for "his type."

What I noticed with our friends and colleagues is that some people where complete opposites and others weren't. People aren't easy to define and we can try to before actually getting to know them first.

People are out there for you to interact with, just go do it. (goofy NIKE motto) The End

Jan. 6th, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
Je t'aime! Ooh la la the french!

Wow! Eight years of marriage! I think that's just wonderful when that special Mr. Right Guy is found; as in your case!

Another thing I've noticed is, that opposites attract and sometimes make the perfect brew for a successful relationship.

In my case, I am totally the opposite (but in an unconventional sort of way) to the guys I've encountered, which would only bring about disaster in a serious relationship.

When a couple lives together, or marries, it's supposed to be a give and take type of relationship in order to survive. I'm too set in my ways, and just can't handle being told what to do. I do believe I'll die an old maid (cause I want to). Any-who! My little four legged furies would become totally traumatized if I brought a guy into the house to live with us! Haaaaa

May you reach your Golden Anniversary, my pretty friend!
Hugs and smooches!
(no subject) - cris_nicewelts - Jan. 6th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
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