When I went to bed last night, I grabbed the sheets, covered my body and smiled at the cool cozy feel of the sheets rubbing against my body. I then grabbed my fluffy Down filled pillow and snuggled my head lovingly into it.
I was just about to go into La La Land when I suddenly found myself yelling loudly, DAMN, OUCH! The shooting pain came from my upper leg joint which connects to my private parts. I scratched, then fell asleep.
I went to the bathroom this morning, to take my shower. I took off all of my clothes. When I looked down, I saw a little spider that looked very much the color of black to me, on top of my white panties. I then squatted down to to the floor, in order to get get a better view of it. The little bugger looked dazed with bewilderment.
Serves it right for venturing to that part of my personal body where no spider has never roamed!
I grabbed my bathrobe and ran to the kitchen, grabbed a small glass, ran back to the bathroom and scoped the little black spider into the glass. Perplexed, I stared at it, wondering how the hell it had gotten into my house, and worse yet, how the hell did it manage to get into my bed, then into my panties!
I then proceeded to take my shower. I felt around my top leg joint, close to my private parts and felt a big bump. It still stings and hurts.
I told my grandpa about what had happened and now he's worried and wants me to make an appointment with my doctor. I will not!
So, if I should die, I want it to be known that I was murdered by a little black spider.
The little glass now sits atop my kitchen window as evidence for the police. That is, if I should die!
By and by, the Itsy Bitsy Black Widow Spider departed this life due to toxic fume inhalation. Served it right!
NOW CAN'T GET THIS LITTLE TUNE OUT OF MY HEAD:
Itsy Bitsy Spider climbing up the spout Down came the rain and washed the spider out Out came the sun and dried up all the rain Now Itsy Bitsy Spider went up the spout again!
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