Playgirl's Mechanical World (playgirl) wrote,
Playgirl's Mechanical World
playgirl

The Story About The Epitome of a Most Repugnant Sight



Norma, my next-door neighbor came over yesterday evening. We sat on benches, which are in my front yard and drank ice tea as we had a very interesting conversation. Jewely and Mickey played on the grass all the while my friend and I continued to talk.

About an hour later, Norma said she had to leave. We both got up; I grabbed the empty glasses, turned and started for the front porch, when I saw from afar, Jewely with something very odd in her mouth. I placed the glasses on the bench and asked Norma what was it that Jewely had in her mouth. We both looked, then I started walking towards Jewely and when I reached her I grabbed and pulled out the thing she had in her mouth with my hand. I brought it up close to my face to examine it. It was black and about 6 inches long. It looked kind of like a big flat fossilized, yet twisted up pork rind with 5 long thin stumpy things going in different directions. Upon close observation, it finally dawned on me what it was.

My eyes bulged; I gasped, then felt whatever was in my stomach, creep up toward my throat. It took everything I had to hold back and not barf. As much as I tried to yell bloody murder, I could not. My throat was stuck like glue. I gagged, I spit, I cried, I jumped, I stomped and finally dropped the thing to the ground. I heard it drop to the floor, which sounded just like the sound of a dried up pork rind. It is hard for me to explain exactly how the sound of it dropping went. But "pork rind" comes to my mind. Frightened to see me in such a state, Norma kept demanding to know what it was. Gasping, I yelled at her what it was. Norma ran the opposite direction, screaming at the top of her lungs. I keep babbling the words "UGGY YUCKY UGGY YUCKY" and just could not stop as I tried to shake off the goose bumped that were engulfing my entire body.

Never in my life had I ever raised my voice to Jewely, but this time I screamed at her that she was the dirtiest, nastiest little dog in the world and to get back inside the house, immediately!

Norma ran home with her hand over her mouth, I ran into the house, Mickey and Jewely terrified by my outburst, and ran to wash my hands with HOT water and Pine Sol. I grabbed Jewely, ran for the bathroom, dumped her in the bathtub and started scrubbing her whole body, especially her mouth with soap. I grabbed her baby-dog-toothbrush and started brushing her teeth. As I did this, I still couldn't stop yelling, UGGY YUCKY, UGGY YUCK with tears of disgust, while snot bubbles dribbled down my nose unto my lips then down to my chin, then down to God knows where.

Later, I knew what I had to do. There were no ifs or buts about it. I had to do it. I grabbed a broom and a paddle. I slowly walked towards that horrible thing, held my breath, squinted my eyes so I could see, yet at the same time not really see, and headed for the front yard and swept the thing into the paddle and threw it across the street, all the while trying desperately to stifle the fast approach of a barf.

That was yesterday and this is today and as I write this in my journal, the words UGGY YUCKY still escape my mouth, over and over again.

Almost forgot to tell you what the disgusting thing was. It was a big; dried up, intact, dead RAT! UGGY YUCKY!

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Moral of this story:
Look but don't touch,
Or you’ll be very sorry.
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