Please believe me, I am NOT a stingy girl.
I love my neighbor, but she sometimes gets on my nerves. Myra is always borrowing something from me. Dish soap, tomatoes, coffee, sugar substitute, body lotion, you name it, and she wants to borrow it. If I happen to have it, I lend it to her. ALWAYS.
About 2 weeks ago, I was relaxing, enjoying the solitude of my house. Mickey and Jewely were taking their nap, when Myra called me on the phone to ask if I had a bell pepper for her to borrow. I was in a terrible mood and told her to wait so I could go check the refrigerator to see if I had one. When I opened the frig., I found that I hand only one pepper. I looked at it for a long time, my mind going a mile a minute on whether I should keep it or just give it to her. I decided to lie.
When I went back to the phone, I told her I was sorry but I did not have a bell pepper. She then asked me if I had an onion. (Damn, she knows for a fact that I ALWAYS have onions) I told that I did. She then told me that she was on her way over to pick it up.
I hung up quickly, dashed for the frig. like a criminal who had just robbed a bank. I grabbed the bell pepper and ran all over the house to see where I could hide it. Mickey and Jewely got all excited from seeing me suddenly become all keyed up and started barking and running after me. I scurried to the refrigerator and opened it, shoving the pepper to the very far end, then changed my mind. (Myra has an unpleasant habit of walking in and opens my refrigerator, cabinets, drawers and whatever else she feels like snooping around for) I ran to cabinets, drawers, all over the kitchen with the bell pepper in my hands.
I then heard the doorbell ring. Alarmed that Myra would catch me with the pepper, I quickly grabbed a plastic baggy, shoved the bell pepper in it, ran to my computer room and shoved the bag with the pepper, right on top of my new sofa. I buried the pepper by grabbing some of my clothes and hurling them on top of the bell pepper, all the while, feeling confident that she would never find it there.
I ran to the door, out of breath, drenched in sweat, my tongue hanging down to my chin from my mouth, and ready to crash down from mental strain and fatigue, I opened the door for Myra. She dashed into the house, asking me if something was wrong, that I looked dreadful. I sweetly said everything was just fine.
I then followed Myra into the kitchen, then to the counter where I had the onion for her. She then sat down, I poured coffee for the both of us and we started to chat. She left about an hour later with the onion.
Yesterday, I decided to give the house a thorough cleaning. After hours of hard work, the house was finally meticulous. I headed for my computer room, grabbed some clothes that were piled on the sofa and found a horrible, stinky disgusting liquid all over the sofa. My eyes just about popped out of their sockets when I yelled, what the hell is this! Upon further investigation, I hesitantly grabbed a plastic bag, which stunk like something had died, then I saw that the pad of my new sofa had been tarnished by big dark horrible stain.
It all came back to me, it was the bell pepper I had hidden from Myra.
Moral of this story, neither Myra nor I enjoyed that big, beautiful bell pepper, and my sofa pad is ruined. I am furious with my self for having been so miserly, for failing to remember about the bell pepper, and for having lied to Myra.
Did God punish me?
Befitting quote for this entry:
"The stingy are always poor."