Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

So sad, but it had to be done

I went through my FList, and found that most had never left a comment to any of my posts, so again I deleted well over 100. This makes well over 400 that I’ve deleted this year. If I keep this up, I’ll eventually end up with ZERO LJ pals, but since I’ve never looked for LJ quantity, it will be fine with me. For some odd reason, it has always left an empty sad place in my heart, but I since all these people have never really intermingled with me, I had no choice but to do it.

The prior post I made caused me to realize that most didn’t give a hoot about me, since no body accepted my invitation to my other journal. I was happy to find that out of 260 LJ friends, 50-something did accept my invitation.

There are only three reasons why most didn’t accept:

1. They have totally abandoned their own LJ’s.
2. They have switched to Facebook.
3. They could have cared less if I completely left this Playgirl journal and dawdled along to my other one, never to be heard of again.

I could start a Facebook account if I wanted to, but I never will, because LJ meets my needs for expressing my personal thoughts, while others add their input, whether they agree with me or not.

I have big spurts of being anti-social in real life. There are times where I want absolutely nothing to do with my REAL friends, and family. Then, there are times where I’ve been called a social butterfly. I have never had any control over how I will feel from one day to the other.

I have both a cell phone, and a regular phone with an answering machine, but I RARELY call, or answer calls. The only time I use my phone is to make important calls that last for a couple of minutes. I hate phones! If I want to really talk, I do so in front of friends, or family. I give thanks to God that all my friends, especially my 3 best friends, and family understand me and put up with me, because they know down deep inside that I love them, and would do anything for them.

Many have assumed that because of the other website I have, and because I’m called Sexy Legs Playgirl, that I’m a party animal. I am not. In fact, I HATE it, and will on RARE occasions accept a date, and if I do, I tell the guy that I will drive my car, and he can drive his own to the destination. I get claustrophobic if I find I can’t leave when I want to, just as I find I can’t breathe when someone makes it obvious that he wants a serious relationship with me. This is something I cannot help, but I have grown to accept it. This is why I’ve always been up front, that I am not, nor will I ever seek an exchange of that certain kind of love relationship.

I realize that when I’m old and gray, I’ll regret having thrown away a few guys who I feel truly loved me. I have always guarded myself against those feelings in my real life. Most know me as the biggest flirt in the world, and I am, and I’m great at it, but only because I know that I can flirt for the rest of my life. I did make let down my guard with one of my LJ friend’s, but only because I knew that it would be a cold day in hell that he would seriously have true feelings for me, and visa versa. After 2 years of communication, I found to my surprise that he very well might be telling the truth that he was in love with me. I was also extremely surprised that I had feelings for him that I never had before. He invited me to Missouri, because he wanted me to go to the ball. I didn’t. He very recently passed his bar exam and is now a full fledged attorney.

When I realized to what extent, feelings were involved, I put an end to it immediately! I believe I hurt him deeply, and I know I’ll regret to my dying day that I let him go, because I kinda believe he truly loved me. Perhaps he is reading this now, or perhaps not, since he is among those I deleted yesterday from my FList. I want him to be happy, and to find (perhaps and hopefully he already has :o), someone is just as educated, wonderful, and worthy of him (I am none of these things.)

I learned yet another lesson from this experience, and that is to never again, permit anyone to come too close to me. There are a few of you that I find extremely sexy. Intelligence in a man is sexiness to me. I’ve found myself very TEMPTED to actually chat with a few of you on one to one bases, but I won’t, because I’m honestly not worth it.

Anyway, I will continue expressing myself here in my PLAYGIRL journal (since it’s my paid, and permanent account), and in the other one. I’ll soon start looking for more new pals for both journals with more or less my same interests, and who actually enjoy LJ. I have had a MySpace account for a long time, but I only have it for networking. I will never get Facebook, because as you can see, I have no use for it.

All in all, I want QUALITY, not QUANTITY when it comes to LJ, and will most likely delete even more from my list.

Oh, and I’m perfectly content with my 10 or 20 cats, 12 dogs, and my once homeless old man I call Grandpa. They have no choice but to put up with me! Besides, I do travel a lot. :o)


Join The NRA
"The Right Of The People To Keep and
Bear Arms, Shall Not Be infringed."!


( 56 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
Oct. 8th, 2009 05:52 pm (UTC)
Well... You've got me for as long as you'll have me... And I'm a life long LJ'er! :D
Oct. 8th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
As you will have me, since I'm a forever LJ'er, too!
Re: LJ'er - ayoub - Oct. 8th, 2009 07:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 8th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
I thought I friend-ed your other journal a long time ago. Lemme go look.
Oct. 8th, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
You sure did. How sad I would have been if you hadn't!

I'll start posting there soon.
(Deleted comment)
Re: sad - playgirl - Oct. 9th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 8th, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
I have no idea if I have friended your other journal.

What I find sad is that you had feelings for this guy and threw the relationship away because you had feeling for him.

And, judging from your post, you apparently don't feel worthy of a such a loving relationship.

BTW, I have not really been commenting in your journal because I find your political rants ugly and insulting.
Oct. 8th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)
You did. You're in the remolded livingroom drinking coffee with me. :o)

Yes, it is sad, but that's the way it must be.

I know, but not to worry, because I haven't been watching political stuff anymore. I've switched to my 2nd favorite thing in life, murder, blood and gore, and horror movies. I always relax when I see stuff like that, which in turn, causes me to become that obnoxious, naughty bitch I'm so well know as. :o)

If I should see something political that TRULY angers me, I'll express it here, but I'll make those posts short and few.
Oct. 8th, 2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
Nawwwww you'll never be down to zero. You'll always have a die-hard and adoring core base of folks! Like me! :*

Oct. 8th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
I sure hope so!

I always read you with great interest, as I do the comments people leave in your journal. I rarely leave a comment to express myself, because it really embarrasses me that my English skills are so weak.
Re: hope - aamusedinatx - Oct. 9th, 2009 08:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 8th, 2009 06:59 pm (UTC)
You should really comment in my journal more.
Oct. 8th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC)
I know I should. Read what I replied to red silk robe to see why I rarely comment. I'm always afraid someone will make fun of me. I write terribly, and drop comma’s left and right, like someone throwing seeds to chickens!
Oct. 8th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
I was in your city last week. I like how it is nestled in the mountains!
Oct. 8th, 2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
The Franklin Mountains are beautiful. You must someday go to the top (Senic Drive) to see the whole city and Juarez, Mexico from a top. Did you see the mountain of Mt. Cristo Rey? I've climed that mountain many times.
Re: mountains - astrixas - Oct. 8th, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: mountains - playgirl - Oct. 8th, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: mountains - astrixas - Oct. 9th, 2009 12:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: mountains - playgirl - Oct. 9th, 2009 08:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: mountains - astrixas - Oct. 9th, 2009 08:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 8th, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC)
You having some kinda midlife crisis, babe? And which LJ is that? The S one?

Oct. 8th, 2009 07:35 pm (UTC)
My life has been a crisis since the day I turned 13.

Yes, the S one.
(no subject) - nebris - Oct. 8th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - playgirl - Oct. 9th, 2009 08:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 8th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
I have a FaceBook and a MySpace account but they do not allow for the connections that LJ does.

Ill be staying here.
Oct. 9th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you still find LJ a great source for "people" connection.
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
I thought about you the other day, maybe yesterday. I was watching FOX News, they had a spot about Juarez, how they had a record day of killings. They were talking about what they had to do to reduce all the killings.

I know I joined one of the other LJ's of yours besides this one. We hardly ever comment on each other's posts. Mine are depressing and yours are political most recently. Hugs.
Oct. 9th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
I've been meaning to do a write up about Juarez, and will do so in my other journal. The situation there is beyond belief.

I'm going to try and make my political posts short, quick, and RARE.

I'll have a better chance of viewing my friends post from that other journal. I think we are all experiencing a little depression, and is it any wonder by the way our world is spinning so uncontrollably.

Just as soon as I situate myself, both in this one, and that one, I'll be able to visit more often.
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
You my dear are worth SO much more than you give yourself credit for. I envy SO many of the traits that you possess. You are such a giving and loving person but you obviously have commitment issues. I can only hope one day that this will pass because you are beautiful inside and can probably offer someone so much!
Oct. 9th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
I don't believe I'll ever change. I'm an extremely complicated person, and realized a long time ago, that I could never have the heart of exposing some guy to it. I would only make his life miserable, and nobody deserves that.

Thank you so much for your kind words. They are of great help, because I'm going through some serious sadness right now, but thankfully, I always snap out of it. :o)

So many hugs for you!

Oct. 8th, 2009 10:59 pm (UTC)
4. Had a brain fart and totally forgot. Yep!
Oct. 9th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
Hope you mean to add you!
Oct. 8th, 2009 11:04 pm (UTC)
Haven't added your other journal because you're still using this one.
Oct. 9th, 2009 08:40 pm (UTC)
Well damn it! I'm adding you!!
Oct. 8th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC)
I sincerely love to read your LJ posts. They are always interesting, sometimes strong opinions. You are involved in so many things that I wonder how you do it.

In addition, I am waiting patiently (and maybe forever) to see a picture of you.

Did you ever consider writing a book about your life and your thoughts.

Oct. 9th, 2009 08:25 pm (UTC)
Very soon, I'll start posting there, also. So please don't delete me!

I'll write a book the day I find a ghost writer as Palin the Pain did. I'm sure I'll become instantly RICH, just like her, when I do! ;o)
Oct. 8th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC)
I am on your other journal, but I have never seen an entry on it. I was actually considering deleting it due to inactivity.

P.S nice feet!
Oct. 9th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)
Don't delete it! I'll soon start posting there, too.

Thank you. Since I have diabetes, I go once a month to my podiatrist. He does a great job, huh?! :o)
Oct. 9th, 2009 01:44 am (UTC)
Maybe I missed the invite...
Oct. 9th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
Well, now you know. I'm adding you, whether you like it or not! :o)

Seriously, if you don't want to add me back, I'll take you off.
(no subject) - sputnik - Oct. 9th, 2009 08:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
( 56 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

May 2015


Powered by LiveJournal.com