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I am being USED AND ABUSED! Relatives

While I was renting my apartment, I'd get a few UNEXPECTED, UNINVITED, UN-WELCOMED guests during the holidays.
Now that I own my own home, the ABUSE is relentless!

A week before Christmas, a couple with their 5 kids arrived totally UNEXPECTED AND UNINVITED. They were just passing through, on their way to Ruidoso. Well, out of the blue, she informed me that they would be spending the night and would leave the following morning. My skin crawled but managed to give a sweet smile. They stayed 4 days. She had 1 husband, 3 teens and to babies, 1 and 2. They made themselves very much at home. The mother would give the 1 and 2 year old milk in regular cups. I couldn't keep up mopping up my hardwood floors from the accidental spills. One time, I decided to warm up a cup of milk for myself and the mother showed great concern about my leaving milk for her kids. By and by, it was MY milk that I paid for. And how they loved taking showers! Every time I'd enter my bathroom, I find the electric heater ON and my towels strewn all over the floor. How I will cry when my electric and water bill comes in. Why do people I don't care about, continue to infringe on my good nature?

On the 3rd and 4th day I started asking when they were leaving. I got no answer. I kept telling them that I had INVITED my 4 brothers and their girlfriends from California, Arizona, and San Antonio to stay with me for the holidays. Mickey, Jewely and I jumped up and down for joy when they finally they left. Mickey and Jewely, my 2 toy poodles, who are the APPLE OF MY EYE, were nervous and upset with all the noise they created.

Then a cousin called me a couple of days ago, letting me know that they had all decided to have a New Years party at MY HOUSE! I said OH! okay. I'm such a WIMP. Well, I managed to get out of this predicament by miraculously catching a terrible cold. I'm sneezing, coughing, my nose is raw red, but I'M HAPPIER THAN HELL, cause this was the perfect excuse for getting me out of an unwanted predicament.

Has anyone experienced UNWANTED OVERNIGHT GUESTS that stay and stay and STAY!!?? I feel used and abused!


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 30th, 2003 06:21 pm (UTC)
something similar happened, just not on the same scale. my parents were coming down for christmas and informed me that they were stayinng at my place because it might be an imposition on my sisters' places to stay there. this, after i had already arranged for my SO to stay the whole week with me. yeah, fun and interesting time. and, now that they are moving back down from canada, i may have them as guests for a couple of months. oh, the joy.
Dec. 30th, 2003 09:30 pm (UTC)
Oh No!
Oh No! A couple of months? You poor thing!

Do you think it might help if I came over, along with my 10 dogs, hedgehog, rabbit and cat? Could keep the 8 BIG outdoor dogs inside the house. They aren't poddy trained. I think your parents might just leave alot sooner! heh heh @:o)

Dec. 30th, 2003 09:37 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh No!
LOL at the dogs. don't tempt me! but, i live in a townhouse with no backyard, so it might get real messy. no, i think i'll duct my sleeping roommates' snoring into my room that they will take over. hopefully that will work.
Dec. 30th, 2003 06:22 pm (UTC)
Not me. In the two years I've had this house, I've only had one overnight guest, for one evening. Maybe its the isolation of here, compared to there. Maybe its that my legs aren't anywhere near as sexy as yours. ;)

Sorry you have a cold, but glad you're enjoying the quiet.

Dec. 30th, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
I'm suffering like hell with my cold, but for the 1st time, I'm sooo happy to be sick. This has saved me from having a bunch of loud and rowdy people at my house on New Year's Eve.

My plans for New Year's Eve are 2 turn off the ringer on my phone and cell phone, have Pizza and all my favorite things to eat, rent lots of movies and stay cuddled up with my 2 poodles. Now that's heaven!

Thanks Garzan and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!
Dec. 30th, 2003 07:11 pm (UTC)
They sound like Cousin Eddie's clan in Vacation!

Dec. 30th, 2003 08:35 pm (UTC)
Forgot to mention that on Christmas day, my unwanted guest's mother called letting me know that she and her other daughter, who has 5 kids, too, will be visiting me in Spring. That mother has 8 grown children who have children! By and by, these people are cousins of cousins who are the cousins of cousins! I think! Wonder what day they'll consider Spring being Spring!

I've never seen "Vacation" but tomorrow I'll go rent it.
Dec. 30th, 2003 08:57 pm (UTC)
Re: Vacation
you will laugh, then groan because this is what you may have to look forward to. christmas vacation and vegas vacation also have cousin eddie's clan.
Dec. 30th, 2003 11:59 pm (UTC)
Bummer! I have never had guests like that, but my stepmom has friends that do that sort of thing, they will sell their house and stay with my Dad and her until my Dad can't take it anymore! It is really funny because my stepmom will be so nice and my Dad will be very very blunt!

I hope you get well, well after the holidays! ;)
Jan. 3rd, 2004 03:15 pm (UTC)
You are so lucky. It's a bad experience having unwanted guest take advantage of you. I hope you never go through what I went through. I was a nervous wreck because I knew that MY INVITED family would be arriving soon. I wouldn't of minded it at all if they had rented a motel for the night and spent the whole day at my house. I had to pull out all of my blankets and pillows.

I had to sleep in my computer room on my couch with Mickey and Penny on top of me because I gave them my bedroom. Had to so the 2 babies could sleep in between them.
Dec. 31st, 2003 06:21 am (UTC)
Thoughts for the day:
There's a saying, allegedly originating in India:
"A visitor is a guest for two days. On the third, give them a hoe."

If you prefer a Mark Twain-ism,
"Houseguests and fish begin to smell in three days."

(This has been a drive-by commenting by someone surfing friends-of-friends-of-friends.)
Jan. 3rd, 2004 02:57 pm (UTC)
Re: Thoughts for the day:
There's another saying in spanish that goes:
El difunto y el arrimado apestan al terser dia.
A dead body and the uninvited start to stink on the third day.

How true "dichos" "quotes" are!
Jan. 3rd, 2004 07:20 am (UTC)
I am being used and abused
My Dear Playgirl,
First of all no one can abuse you and use you without your consent. You can be cordial without being rude or uncaring. You had to have stated that you were happy to see them, but in order to be accommodated they needed to have called ahead of time to make plans. They should not be insulted if you use tact and firmness in stating the fact that you had other plans. If they should discuss this matter with relatives they will be on your side. If people are educated and have plain old common sense and courtesy they should understand. Now if they were not taught the proper etiquette than it is entirely their problem and perhaps this would be a golden opportunity to be taught. It appears to be hard and cruel, but sometimes people need to wake up and smell the coffee. Next time be sweet, but don't be afraid to be truthful. You're not trying to win a popularity contest are you?
Jan. 3rd, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC)
Egads. What was your relation to this couple?
Jan. 3rd, 2004 03:31 pm (UTC)
The girl is a FAR FAR away cousin. I have never gone to visit them and never will.

Whenever I travel to visit some member of my immediate family, I rent a motel on arrival. I know I'm more than welcomed to stay at their home, but I know that I would inconvenience them in some way. Although, I must count my pennies, I feel much more comfortable staying at a motel. The couple that abused me have money. They arrived in their newly purchased $45,000.00 vehicle. The luggage they had was most expensive. Now I see how they can afford such things. They sponge off of other people. Here I am with my OLD 1995 Nissan, and luggage purchased at the 2nd hand store. The more I think about the abuse, the angrier I become. But guess what? When drop in again uninvited, I'll be a WIMP again!
Jan. 3rd, 2004 02:24 pm (UTC)
If it was family, then that's family. If it was friends, then that's friends. They can be relentless and weird about things like that sometimes, but if they're true friends and family then a firm no with an apology can be given without them being offended at you in the "long run".

(i.e. "It is good to see ya'll [since you're a Texan :P], and I'm sorry if I can't accomidate you and yours this time around, but next time if I know you're coming I don't mind opening my home to you. If I was more prepared for your stay, then we all can have laughs together, but this time around my house isn't ready for this. You can try staying at >>fill in the blank<<.")

They might get mad and take it out on you in the short run or throw a hissie fit like immature children, but they're truly mad at themselves for being idiots and not making plans ahead of time. Blame you for the holidays being troublesome, but you gave them a great gift and you took the troubles on yourself so somewhere along the lines in the future you'll probablly have one of the greatest holidays ever since it's owed to you now.

A desired moment lost today opens doors for a greater moment tomorrow because your heart just made more room for it all. ;)

Happy New Year!
Jan. 10th, 2004 11:06 pm (UTC)
i hate that but dont worry u know u done it to
Jan. 11th, 2004 06:04 am (UTC)
Yikes, U R right! @:o)
Jan. 17th, 2004 05:03 pm (UTC)
Hey... You CAN say "No"

Say that you are not able to have guests right now, but they are more than welcome to use your phonebook and phone to find a place that has decent rates to spend the night at.

You can also tell your parents that. Tell them that you had plans that week. When they ask you what they are, mention that they are your personal bussiness.

You have the right to determine who can and can't stay in your home.

Don't let people take advantage of your good nature!!!

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

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