1. I wish the news media would leave Britney Spears alone. Why so much interest and even pleasure in the suffering and downfall of this beautiful woman? It’s obvious that she isn’t well, why can’t people understand this?
I watched the photographers yesterday behaving like a hungry vultures to get her picture. The scene was utterly shameful and disgusting.
2. I’ve already started the New Year on the wrong foot, and have come to the conclusion that I’m just a self centered egotistical bitch. I've pretty much had spurts of being anti-social most of my life, and I believe it’s come back to haunt me. I have been blessed by having 3 of the most wonderful best friends anyone could ask for; girlfriends who will do anything possible for me, and I believe I’ve lost 2 of them, Lolly and Norma, because I rarely answer the phone when they call me, and rarely accept invitations to go out for entertainment. I always keep the 10 ft. gate locked, making it impossible for anyone to reach me. Glory had tried to reach me for over a month, and I finally answered yesterday, before I’d lose her, too. She told me Lolly and Norma were going to start giving me some of my own medicine. I’m just going to have to find a way of swallowing this ridiculous pride I have, and call them until they answer. I don’t want to lose them forever!
I noticed about a week ago, that they weren’t calling me at all anymore, so I called them, and they didn’t answer the phone. I called about 4 different times, and left a message for them to call me. They haven’t, and I feel so sad. I’ve also lost 3 guys in my lifetime who I believe truly loved me, but because I have this abnormal fear of love and commitment. Yes, I've foolishly let them get away. More than ever, I realize I will someday die an old spinster with my body all decomposed in a rocking chair with a bunch of dogs and cats, because it's impossible for me to ever change.
I’m feeling so worthless and sad.
3. I’m going to try and add some new icons in pillowtalkicons today.
4. I’m trying to forget my sorrows by trying to concentrate on C++. At this time, I don't have any real goals for C++, it just seems like an interesting language to learn since it can be used for any kind of development ranging from operating systems to hardware drivers, and from software applications to web pages, and even other programing languages which I think is amazing! But I also see that the learning will be pretty huge.
After spending several hours thumbing through these books, I think that it's possible that I got in over my head, so I went out to a used bookstore and got a copy of 'Success with C++' by Kris Jamsa. It's an older book (1994) but geared towards a C++ beginner. At the moment, I am learning about something called I/O (input / output) which at first seemed totally obsolete since it is DOS based, but as I read on, I found that I/O is not only for DOS console display, but you can write output to another device such as files on your disk which is pretty fun! I have not reached anything regarding the "heap-allocated memory" topic a very nice person commented in my last post about C++, but when I get to it in chapter 7, I hope that I'll be able to understand what it all means.
I’m working on something pretty complicated that I believe you’ll find very interesting, and of course it’s going to be free. I do plan on placing affiliate banners to make money from internet surfers. Wish me luck!
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