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My Tree of Life Thanks You!

I woke up this morning, feeling a little embarrassed by my admission in my prior post, but I’m glad I let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

It’s rare when I find myself at a loss for words, and I find myself at a loss in replying to all those who listened, and tried to find a solution to my problem. I read each and every one of your comments and advice carefully, and will try to follow up on your advice.

As for the phobia that I have, nobody can understand how something like this totally controls your life. Only my family, and my 3 best friends know what it is, and they all do everything in their power to try to protect me from encountering it. I have a few enemies in real life, and many in cyberspace, and am sure they’d try to expose it in front of me to traumatize me with it if they knew what this phobia was. I’m afraid of NOTHING, not even death, but this phobia, which goes beyond fear, will be kept secret for the rest of my life, a side from those I’ve mentioned, will be taken to the grave, because I have sought help from a shrink, and as much as he tried to help me, he was unsuccessful. I’ve come to accept it, and will only continue doing everything in my power to avoid confrontation with it.

This phobia is a million times more embarrassing than my bed wetting, because I have accidentally found myself right in front of it in public, where I’ve lost total control of every fiber of my mental and physical being. As I mentioned before, only those who have a phobia can really understand what I’m saying.

Again, thank you all for trying to come to my aide in my last post. I’m so lucky to have found you in cyberspace. You are truly wonderful!

"One can pay back the loan of gold, but one
dies forever in debt to those who are kind."
- Malayan Proverb

Now, for a little humor. I only hope you kids won’t start calling me Ms. Pee Body, instead of Ms. Playgirl! :o)


Join The NRA

"The Right Of The People To Keep and
Bear Arms, Shall Not Be infringed."


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 19th, 2007 09:33 pm (UTC)
Hey did you Know Sunshine how glad and Lucky I am to have you on my Tree of life!

Holding you as tight as I can!!!
Dec. 19th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
Yes, we're both lucky!

Hugs you back!
Dec. 20th, 2007 06:41 am (UTC)
I got them! ;o)
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
Bulls eye! :o)
Dec. 19th, 2007 09:38 pm (UTC)
There are those who'd suggest confronting one's object of fear is the best way to handle a phobic obsession.
Dec. 19th, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC)
I can face any fear in life, but this phobia is impossible. It goes so far and deep, that I'd rather die than face it head on.
Dec. 20th, 2007 01:15 am (UTC)
Not head on. By degrees.
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
Dec. 19th, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC)
don't be embarrassed. I'm willing to bet that your courage in telling us has probably bolstered the souls a friends with issues that they fear to admit. if anything be proud of your strength.
Dec. 19th, 2007 10:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you Sweety Pie! I hope that others read that post who have the same problem, and will benefit from the thoughts and advice that went into that post by all of you!
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:26 pm (UTC)
Don't worry! What matters is that you care, and I know it! :o)

At first, I was brave to share my problem, then in the morning I regreted it, but later, I found I was glad I'd shared it.
Dec. 20th, 2007 01:28 am (UTC)
you know I forgot to mention.....I had urethra and bladder dmage when I got run over.......for awhile they were not sure I would regain control. I was on a cath for three months and then self cathed for three months after that.

That x-mas I was at a party for Houston ISD teachers and right in the middle of the whole deal I pissed my pants.......reguardless of the excuse I had it was still terribly embarrasing.
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:13 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you got runned over!!

I wonder why we're so embarressed about pissing in our pants, when we can't help it, and why people find it funny! Perhaps it's time to start making more posts about this topic to eventually start looking at it as something that we shouldn't be embarressed about. I hope this all makes sense to you! :o)
Dec. 20th, 2007 02:46 am (UTC)
I can relate to the phobia thing. I had several near drowning experiences as a child and I spent the better part of my life afraid of water. Showers were fine, but anything else was out (that included several hot-tub/bath sex offers). Two years ago, while I was at Dance Camp in Maine I finally decided to get past this fear and learned how to swim. Having friends that are life guards is sure handy. So consider the possibility that all adversities can be overcome.

Unless it's clowns... they're creepy.
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
How lucky you were to have life guards as friends to help you beat this phobia!

I don't have a clown phobia, but ever since I saw pictures of Gacy dressed as a clown, they spook me!
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
I've lived with and i still have a phobia which has really made my life hard. Simply i can't leave my house or travel without a lot of help. I have Agorophobia. The fear it creates i can't really explain,i can be paralysed from it or just feak out,thankfully it dosen't seem as bad now but it's the reason i've never been married or had any real love. I'd never wish a phobia on even my worst enemy. *HUGS*
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
I would never wish a phobia on my worst enemy, either! People who don't have one, have no eartly idea what one goes through, nor the sheer horror of having one.

I'm so happy to find that you're somehow conquering your phobia! My phobia, which is the most harmless and ridiculous thing in the world, has gotten worse as each year passes. The only thing I found out about it when I went to a shrink was, that I went through a very traumatic experience, and the last thing I saw was this thing, so whenever I see it, I totally freak out. He told me that I had to eventually confront this THING, in order to cure this phobia. But it's impossible for me to do so. I can't even look at a picture of it, this is how bad it is.

As for you, continue working on this Agorophobia, and I thank God you have people who help you!

Dec. 20th, 2007 11:15 am (UTC)
*hugs you*
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:18 pm (UTC)
Bear hugs you back! :o)
Dec. 20th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)

Love! :D
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
I find the best way to save money is to steal little kid's lunch money and hide it in a sponge. NO ONE thinks to look in a sponge.
Dec. 20th, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)
I've always known you were a stealing sponge, 'cuz I've squeezed you to death while giving you your bath. And where do you think all that money you stole went? Yeah! In my pocket! YAY!
Dec. 25th, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
And I put in infected needle in that sponge to protect my money! :P Better get that checked out.
Dec. 21st, 2007 04:08 am (UTC)
I love you and will never make fun of you.
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )

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