I had no other choice, but to do what I did yesterday. I feel sick for doing it, so sick that my stomach is still upset, to the point of nausea. I couldn’t sleep last night, because my heart hurt so much, which felt, and still does, as if a ton of bricks fell on top of it.
I’ll never understand why these things happen to only me, but they always do.
I already have 8 large dogs that were once strays and one little toy poodle, Jewely, who is the love of my life, and Panchito, a Chihuahua that was wondering the streets, and who has also become the love of my life. I also have 29 cats that nobody wants.
I have a 10 ft. solid wrought iron fence in the front with a gate that I always keep locked, and a 7 ft. rock fence in the back, and to the very rear of my yard, I have a 9 ft. chain link fence.
A few days ago, two big stray dogs somehow jumped the back fence and got into my back yard. When I got home from work, Grandpa had already put many of my own dogs into separate fences, for fear they would all get into a fight with the strange dogs.
Everyday, I’d buy the newspaper to see if anyone had lost their dogs. I went from door to door, asking if someone knew who the dogs belonged to. By the way, these two dogs were skin and bone, their ribs were visible, and it was obvious that whoever the owner, or owners were, they didn’t take proper care of them. As much as I hated to, I decided to keep them, and within a few days, they were starting to fatten up and look healthy again.
The female dog proved to be a big pain, because she kept finding ways of getting to the front yard, where I have all my cats. She’d start running after them, and she made a terrible mess of my front porch, pulling all the little pillows I have for my cats, and she tilted over their big pail of water. The other dog, which was as sweet, and loveable as could be, somehow got into a horrible vicious fight with one of my dogs. It was horrible, and it’s a miracle that Grandpa and I didn’t end up bitten while trying to separate them. I’ll admit that Charlie was the instigator, and the strange German shepherd had no choice but to try and defend himself.
Yesterday I did the unthinkable, I paid two men to grab the two dogs and take them to the lower valley where there are many farms, and let them loose. I just couldn’t bring myself to call the dog catchers because I knew they would be killed.
Today, I called the two men and told them that I’d pay them handsomely if they go back to the place they had let them loose and look for the both of them, plus pass flyers that a $50.00 reward would be paid if found, and I've offered the two men who are looking for them $500.00 if they bring them back to me. They are looking for him as I type, and I hope with all my heart they find them both and bring them back to me. I’m asking for a miracle, because I’ll never get this. If they are brought back to me, I will keep the German Shepard, and do everything in my power to find a good home for the female.
What a damn hypocrite I have been, because I’ve always been the defender of animals, and animal abuse, and here I go and do the despicable thing I did yesterday, by throwing those two dogs away.
I know it sounds insane to many of you, but I also know that many of you are animal lovers like I am, and know exactly the turmoil I'm going through. Please pray to whomever you perceive to be your god, that I find these two dogs for both their sake, and especially for my own!