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Two Stray Dogs Thrown Away

I had no other choice, but to do what I did yesterday. I feel sick for doing it, so sick that my stomach is still upset, to the point of nausea. I couldn’t sleep last night, because my heart hurt so much, which felt, and still does, as if a ton of bricks fell on top of it.

I’ll never understand why these things happen to only me, but they always do.

I already have 8 large dogs that were once strays and one little toy poodle, Jewely, who is the love of my life, and Panchito, a Chihuahua that was wondering the streets, and who has also become the love of my life. I also have 29 cats that nobody wants.

I have a 10 ft. solid wrought iron fence in the front with a gate that I always keep locked, and a 7 ft. rock fence in the back, and to the very rear of my yard, I have a 9 ft. chain link fence.

A few days ago, two big stray dogs somehow jumped the back fence and got into my back yard. When I got home from work, Grandpa had already put many of my own dogs into separate fences, for fear they would all get into a fight with the strange dogs.

Everyday, I’d buy the newspaper to see if anyone had lost their dogs. I went from door to door, asking if someone knew who the dogs belonged to. By the way, these two dogs were skin and bone, their ribs were visible, and it was obvious that whoever the owner, or owners were, they didn’t take proper care of them. As much as I hated to, I decided to keep them, and within a few days, they were starting to fatten up and look healthy again.

The female dog proved to be a big pain, because she kept finding ways of getting to the front yard, where I have all my cats. She’d start running after them, and she made a terrible mess of my front porch, pulling all the little pillows I have for my cats, and she tilted over their big pail of water. The other dog, which was as sweet, and loveable as could be, somehow got into a horrible vicious fight with one of my dogs. It was horrible, and it’s a miracle that Grandpa and I didn’t end up bitten while trying to separate them. I’ll admit that Charlie was the instigator, and the strange German shepherd had no choice but to try and defend himself.

Yesterday I did the unthinkable, I paid two men to grab the two dogs and take them to the lower valley where there are many farms, and let them loose. I just couldn’t bring myself to call the dog catchers because I knew they would be killed.

Today, I called the two men and told them that I’d pay them handsomely if they go back to the place they had let them loose and look for the both of them, plus pass flyers that a $50.00 reward would be paid if found, and I've offered the two men who are looking for them $500.00 if they bring them back to me. They are looking for him as I type, and I hope with all my heart they find them both and bring them back to me. I’m asking for a miracle, because I’ll never get this. If they are brought back to me, I will keep the German Shepard, and do everything in my power to find a good home for the female.

What a damn hypocrite I have been, because I’ve always been the defender of animals, and animal abuse, and here I go and do the despicable thing I did yesterday, by throwing those two dogs away.

I know it sounds insane to many of you, but I also know that many of you are animal lovers like I am, and know exactly the turmoil I'm going through. Please pray to whomever you perceive to be your god, that I find these two dogs for both their sake, and especially for my own!


( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 23rd, 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)
Now I know why you were so upset last night sorry to hear I hope every thing works out ok
(((Hugs))) Sunshine
Oct. 23rd, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
Re: (((Hugs)))
Thank you moonshine.
Oct. 23rd, 2007 10:05 pm (UTC)
Re: (((Hugs)))
you are welcome playgirl.
Oct. 23rd, 2007 10:09 pm (UTC)
Re: (((Hugs)))
you know Savanah I am a real person and my name is Pete.
Oct. 23rd, 2007 10:31 pm (UTC)
Re: (((Hugs)))
Thanks for the hugs, but don't knock it. You're REALLY, REALLY making me angry. Today I'm Playgirl and you're Moonshine. Perhaps tomorrow or the next, or the next and the next, I'll be Savanah and you'll be Pete again.
Oct. 23rd, 2007 10:42 pm (UTC)
Re: (((Hugs)))
I am sorry! I am praying that you do find the dogs and all will be ok!!!
Oct. 23rd, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC)
we all make mistakes, hon. it's how we deal with them and if we learn from them that matters. don't beat yourself up too hard; just learn and keep going.
Oct. 23rd, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)
And I made a pretty darn bad one. It's just that I lost my temper when I saw the destruction the female dog had done, and the fright she caused my cats. I shouldn't have. I should have understood that she didn't know any better, and because of her, that poor old german shephard paid the price of my anger, also.

Still no word. I am so grateful to my brothers, because they have all agreed to chip in for the award money, should the dogs be found.

I had a little temper tantrum, and that's inexcusable.

Thank you so much for trying to make me feel better!
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 24th, 2007 03:06 am (UTC)
Some unknown force brought those two dogs to me, to love and care for, but I threw in the towel too quickly, and threw them away to suffer. The german shepherd was looking straight at me when I took the above pic. As you can see, he looked at me with so much love, hope and trust that I would be the one to care for him for the rest of his life. I'll never get over this, nor will I ever forgive myself.
Oct. 24th, 2007 12:20 am (UTC)
I think you may have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You do the human race proud, and the animals you save are no doubt very thankful for your concern and efforts
Oct. 24th, 2007 02:58 am (UTC)
Thank you fourcorners, but this time I failed those two poor dogs miserably.
Oct. 24th, 2007 07:46 am (UTC)
It's not so much that you succeeded or not, it's the fact that you cared. These dogs were a bad fit and you knew it would make life tough for you and the rest of your animal family, but you wanted to do them right anyway. Many people would have simply cut them loose, but you still wanted to give them a piece of your heart anyway. That's why you're so special
Oct. 24th, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
We all have moments of weakness.
Be thankful that you have less of those moments than the rest of us.
Oct. 24th, 2007 02:55 am (UTC)
Re: -
Thank you my dear Silent Despair for trying to make me feel better, but I'm the weakest of all of you.
Oct. 24th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)
Please don't beat yourself up
Sometimes we do things without thinking them through. It is hard to admit mistakes. I hope this will work out for you and the dogs. You are the one of the best animal care people I know.

Here is a **(((HUG))** from an old guy. Oh and there is a small box on the way to you, should arrive next week.
Oct. 27th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Please don't beat yourself up
It was an impulse on my part that I'll always regret.

That great big hug from you has been accepted and returned!

I'll keep an eye out for it!
Oct. 24th, 2007 03:58 am (UTC)
You know... it is quite possible you can't find the owners because someone let them go. I do recall you saying El Paso had such a problem.

But regardles of that, what I really wanted to say is that you hold so much in and take on so much that when you get overloaded you end up doing things you regret. You have certain goals/standard/expectations that need to be met. And there's only so much you can handle alone. So, don't be so hard on yourself. You put everything before yourself as it is. And when you burst out, you're looking for a way to get things back in order. You're looking for a way to get control. You're trying to find balance in your life. At least that's the way it seems.

So, I hope you don't find those dogs. And I hope they're alright. Because, I think the stress those two dogs would have put on your household is more than it could bare, and that includes you.

So maybe letting them go wasn't such a bad idea. At least you gave them a fighting chance.

I'm no animal expert though. So, all I can say is that I think you're doing the best you can. We all make mistakes, so try not to be so hard on yourself, especially if you don't find them.
Oct. 27th, 2007 03:00 pm (UTC)
Perhaps it was for the best Dave, but it still hurts to wonder if they're suffering.

Had that female dog not found a way to get into my front yard, I know I wouldn't have reacted as I did. My concern was for the safety of my cats, the five little kittens, and Helen Keller.

Oct. 28th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
Dave, you're not going to believe this! Read my recent entry!
Oct. 24th, 2007 05:23 pm (UTC)
A new day and a new (((Hug)))
I hate to see you so sad Sunshine I hope your not still beating your self up over this
I wish I knew how to make you happy all the time I guess I am not doing to good of job of it right now.
You have to big of heart but you did have to think of all your other animals too, we can second guess our self's forever but maybe this is for the best I do not know if it is or not. All I do know Savanah is you have to let your self heal. And maybe they have found someone with a big as heart as you I hope so!
I wish you peace of heart and mind Savanah
I Love you!
Oct. 29th, 2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
Awww... were the dogs ever found?

They are really freakin' cute!!

I've never understood people who get an animal and then get tired of them and throw them out or worse, abuse them.

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

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