Playgirl's Mechanical World (playgirl) wrote,
Playgirl's Mechanical World
playgirl

Super Depressed

These past few months have been terrible for me.

First I lost my very best internet friend because of some stupidity. She's the only one I shared my most intimate feelings of fear, happiness and my daily real life events for the day. The feelings I grew to have for her even surpassed my real life best friend. She's gone forever and I feel lost.

Then a month ago, I lost Jose Rodriguez through death. He was incredibly smart, infact, he was a genius. He was an expert on any topic and I learned a few little things from him. He was always there for me whenever I needed some advice. I have a poem he wrote, expressing his feelings for me, his feelings of love. He died from a mixture of diabetes and high blood pressure. He had recently found the girl of his dreams and had fallen in love. He didn't suffer and died in her arms.

Then, a week ago, Ruby lost her battle with lupus. She suffered horribly since she was a teenager and died at 24 yrs old. She was a sweet little angel and if anyone deserves going to heaven, it is Ruby.

The past few months haven't been good. I've lost 3 wonderful people who were in my life and I just can't believe I don't have them anymore. I'm so sad.

Since my mind is so much on the topic of death, my wishes are to be cremated when I die. Why? because I want as little amount of money spent on me as possible. I am Catholic and a rosary is customary. I don't want one. I don't want money spent on a plot nor a coffin. I just want friends and family to gather at a church to pray for my soul and then have my ashes scattered in my back yard.

What are your wishes, a burial or cremation and why?
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