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Nursing Home

1. Once every two or three weeks I go visit my favorite elderly people at a nursing home.

Just as soon as I stepped foot in the place yesterday, I heard some woman hollering at the top of her lungs. The woman must have been in her 80’s, was in a wheel chair, and had no legs. As I passed her, she raised her fist and continued yelling the foulest words in the world. She had the kind of face one would like to smack!

I stayed for about half an hour visiting 3 different ladies, and I could see they were very nervous from the non-stop yelling of that horrible woman. I was tempted to grab a bar of soap and shove it down her throat, which made me feel like a dog, because she most likely was mentally ill. I wonder if she’s always had that gutter mouth.

On a happier note:

Congradulations to my favorite girls, The Dixie Chicks, for winning in every category at the 49th Grammy awards last night!

Not Ready To Make Nice
by the Dixie Chicks!

Toda Una vida

Join The NRA


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 13th, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
There are almost always a few people living in a nursing home that have dementia or have had strokes and they are apt to talk the way this woman did when yhou were there. They are quite ill and typically have deficient mental functions. They do not deliberately say and do the things they do.
Feb. 13th, 2007 05:17 am (UTC)
The woman made me angry because the other patients were obviously nervous. I'm sure they had never heard such foul language in their lives.

I wonder what makes a person so hateful, and where she ever learned to curse like that. Too bad, because I just can't see anyone wanting to visit her.
Feb. 13th, 2007 08:26 am (UTC)
When someone has this type of dementia, or this kind of brain damage from a stroke - it can be one or two things:

Have you heard of Tourettes Syndrome? People with Tourettes say the vilest things, and they look at you like THEY can't believe they just said it, it just pops out of their mouths. It is a nervous disorder. . . and they honestly cannot help that they do it. Certain seizure disorders do the same thing as well. Stroke victims tend toward this kind of outbursts.

Dementia's outbursts tend to be outburst due to FEAR. They do not have the reasoning power to understand the world around them any longer. They battle shadows they don't understand continually. . .and can become dangerous, but usually they are restrained when they get to this point. If they did not have dementia, they would probably be very kind loving people.

It does scare people that have to live with it - it's up to the care providers to understand the mechanic and make adjustments. . .usually the elderly with dementia are placed on their own floor when they get to a certain level of brain dysfunction. It should not be up to the other residents to have to 'rationalize and hold compassion' for something they do not have training in. . . that just isn't fair.

(((((hugs you))))))
Kudos for taking the time to visit!!!
Feb. 13th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
I had never heard of Tourettes Syndrome. What a terrible thing to happen to a person! There are so many ailments that many of us don’t understand.
I remember one time when I visited this nursing home; there was this little old lady with the most beautiful granny face I’d ever seen. She was tiny, very thin and looked very fragile. There was a tray against her wheel chair with a plate of food. She was all alone and away from the rest of the people, so I walked up to her and started caressing her face. She grabbed my hand and looked at me in a loving way. I later tried to pull my hand away, but she wouldn’t let go of it. I kept pulling, until I pulled with all my might, but she wouldn’t let go. I was shocked how strong her grip was, and after trying many times to pull my hand away, I started yelling for help. This guy ran to me and told me not to touch her place because she would become violent and start hitting me with it. It took two big strong men to eventually save me.
It was shocking to find this tiny little lady with the strength of two husky men!

Hugging you back!!
Feb. 13th, 2007 01:26 am (UTC)

I am quite surprised you are congratulatory towards the Dixie Chicks. Although I have never had a conversation about it with you, you come off as being more conservative and in-support with the war, and supportive of President Bush. You are also from Texas.

With all the bashing the Dixie Chicks have done on... well, everything. I just didnt expect you to be backing them.

Given, their political standing has nothing to do with their music, I am still a bit surprised.
Feb. 13th, 2007 05:09 am (UTC)
I consist of a concoction of many different flavors when it comes to politics, music and religion.

I support our soldiers, but I don't support this war anymore. I'll never understand how they ended up in Iraq, when it was Osama bin Laden we had a bone to pick with.

I always admire people who aren't afraid to speak their mind, and the Dixie Chicks spoke theirs.

I love all types of music, and contemporary country is among my favorites, and the Dixie Chicks are hot when it comes to country. :o)
Feb. 13th, 2007 06:22 am (UTC)
Dixie Chicks got the last laugh, didn't they? I am glad for them, but this album isn't really so much country as it is rock. My favorite one was the bluegrass one they made around the time they got all the flak.
Feb. 13th, 2007 06:25 pm (UTC)
I don’t believe any American should be ostracized for expressing his/her political beliefs as the Dixie Chicks were. All those country radio stations that boycotted them, sure didn’t believe in Freedom of Speech, huh?!

YUP! Seems there is justice in the good old U.S.A, ‘cuz they sure did
Feb. 13th, 2007 04:55 am (UTC)
"I was tempted to grab a bar of soap and shove it down her throat" Oh boy sunshine do I feel the same way to night but it is a guy.

Well hope you are feeling better now and it can be hard to be in a rest home, let alone to visit one, they have become just dumping grounds for the elderly and disabled' I think it is so sad, but all we can do is turn the other cheek. And I bet the ladies that you visited with where glad that you gave them that time :o)

Now the Dixie Chicks I Have always liked their music but when they started standing up for what they believed in when it was not popular to do so I really started liking them even more. That is what makes our country great being free to say what we really feel
Lets hope we never lose that right and we get the rights that we lost to this administration back.

Well Love sweetie!
Feb. 13th, 2007 05:29 am (UTC)
I should never have had those feelings about that poor pathetic woman; it's just that I had never heard an elderly lady say such filthy words.

I've always liked the Dixie Chicks and their music, and I'm glad they won the awards.

Love and hugs Sweety Pie!
Feb. 13th, 2007 07:07 am (UTC)
don't stress over it sunshine, you have a good heart and next time just say Hi to her maybe she just need someone to talk to,

and keep me in your dreams :o) you know that always helps don't Ya =o)*Wink Wink*
{{{Hugs}}} and kisses!
Feb. 13th, 2007 07:15 am (UTC)
Hey, just wanted to say hi to you and hope you have a good day tomorrow.

*hugs you*
Feb. 13th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you PoetPaladin. I'm sure it will be a good day, but this coming Friday will be as bad as can be.

Hugging you back!
Feb. 13th, 2007 07:20 am (UTC)
One of the paradoxes of aging is that often people who were known for being even tempered and well spoken often in their declining years became short tempered, even foul mooded, and foul and abusive language becomes the norm. It is both a combination of the sheer frustration of having an active live reduced down to total dependance on carers and the effects of dementia, where the brain paths and functions change through physical changes due to aging of the brain.

Look at this lady in a different light. She has lost her legs, her youth, her ability to look after herself. Dignity is in short supply, while her frustration at this situation is obvioulsy in abundance. Her personality may have changed with Dementia, and now her family may be too embarassed to visit, so loneliness is eating at her.

With an aging population a secior citizen can expect to have not just months of aged care but years of having to be cared for. Their expectations and natures can change as dependancy does funny things to you. Don't be too hard on that woman. Try to put yourself in her place, going through the total loss of self determination and declining mental function. Seriously this could be your future in this aging world.
Feb. 13th, 2007 07:54 pm (UTC)
I have noticed that the patients who are still mentally active are the ones who show bitterness. There are many young people there also, due to many things, such as motorcycle or car accidents.

Thank you for bringing all these things, and particular, the woman with the foul mouth to my attention. I'm sure you're right, because I just can't imagine anybody wanting to visit her. Next time I go, I'll do my best to talk to her. I don't know how she'll respond because from what I saw, she could very easily be violent, but I'll try.

I know myself well, and know for a fact that if ever the day came where I would suspect that I might land in a place like that, I'd ... I'll say no more.
Feb. 19th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)
Savannah, I don't want to hear any more words from you on not allowing yourseld to run the full course of your life. There are so many reasons why you should allow your life to fulfill itself in all ways. The memories of your youth are there to be savoured in your maturity. So many life experiences that you store up to pass on to those who follow you in tales and wisdom. Where would the younger generation learn compassion if there were no older generation to demonstrate and then require as age sets in?

Look around you. Your life is one of blessing others. You give of yourself in ministering to those in prison and to those whose dwindling days are spent in loneliness. YOu open your home to the homeless, whether man or beast. YOu spend your time blessing others. Why then would you wish to deprive others of the chance to bless you. After sll, when it is said that in blessing you will be blessed, allow those around you to experience the blessing of cating and visiting the aged. Pass that blessing on and be an instrument of blessing.

Honey, if you would prefer that a rose be left unmolested on the bush to wither and die of old age, allow yourself to experience that same thing, tho I doubt very much that you would wither.

As for flowers, each one is a miracle of God's creation, spectacular and beautiful. Yet they are transient, fleeting in the eyes of man and God, and as the Bible says, grown one day and thrown into the flames the next. Yet God created them in their glory not only to clothe the earth in beautiy, but to give joy to the heart. They are there for your enjoyment, on or off the bush. Virtual ones never die.
Feb. 13th, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC)
It is so very nice of you to go visit those in the nursing home. I am very sure it is the highlight of their day/week.

Feb. 13th, 2007 07:44 pm (UTC)
Although I'm sure they're taken well care of, it's such a sad and boring place. Most of them are confined to their beds, without TV or any form of entertainment. They are taken in wheel chairs to a big room where there's a TV, and those who can walk, go there and play cards, or little child games.

There are only a few who have family members visit them, but the majority don't.

Childrens's hospitals have many volunteers who go visit the children, but this is not the case with nursing homes.

I only pray that I die, before I ever land in a place like that.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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