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Jan. 7th, 2007

Nursing Homes

Try to visit a nursing home in your area as often as possible. I bet you didn't know that many of the patients are not only elderly, but quite young, also.

The tragic part is that many are just dumped there by their family, and never visit or provide for them again. I see many of them wearing raggedy clothes, clothes that have been left behind those who have passed away.

Whenever I go to the 2nd hand store, or Goodwill, I make sure to buy a few articles of clothes for them, especially sweaters and blankets, and take them when I visit those who never have visitors. I stay maybe 30 minutes every two weeks. Some are so bad off because of Alzheimer’s that they give no reaction at all.

I realize many of you never realized that these people are alone in the world, so I'm just letting you know what I have seen, and hopefully you will also try to find a little time from your busy lives and visit them. And if you do, try to buy a little something for them to wear. It only costs a few minutes of your time, and a few bucks.


( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 7th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
Yes, knowing the kind of person you are, I know you made many lives there a little happier!
Jan. 7th, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC)
when i was president of the campus democrats back in college, we did a nursing home visit over the holiday season where we sat with the people and decorated the home.

that had to be one of the most painful things i ever did. it just broke my heart seeing all of those kind elderly people suffering the way they did and knowing that many of them didn't have loved ones. i was depressed for a couple of weeks. maybe i'm a sap but i couldn't bring myself to do it again.
Jan. 7th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
I know exactly what you felt, but you must do it again. After a while you start developing calluses, and it won't be so bad.

As I mentioned before, there are some who are in a world their own, and have no concept of absolutely anything, but there are many who look forward to your visits. They have regressed back to childhood, and you can take games that are for children and play with them, or you can read to them.
Jan. 7th, 2007 10:18 pm (UTC)
I remember going caroling with a church group (don't ask me, I was roped into it by sneakery). People in the nursing homes literally cried because they really appreciated the gesture.
Jan. 7th, 2007 11:18 pm (UTC)
It's hard to believe that there are some children, who just dump them there and never again look back, and it's hard to believe that we as a society want nothing to do with the elderly; it's almost as if they don't exist.

I've noticed a difference in other cultures, such as the Latin culture. Most tend to have their elderly parents live in their homes and either pays someone to care for them while the family is at work, or one family member assumes total responsibility in caring for them. When the parent leaves the home, it's to take him for burial.

The moment you enter a nursing home, you smell the pungent odor of loneliness!
Jan. 8th, 2007 05:01 am (UTC)
I won't lie. You know me. Loneliness isn't what I'm smellin'! I know it is cruel but true. I have a friend who works in a nurseing home and I used to take her to and from work. Now admitedly she worked part of the dayin laundry but she smelled like urine and vomit by the end of the day everyday. She became immune to it but all it did was keep me from going to nurseing homes because it broke my heart that the smell was so commonplace there. And this IS a NICE place. I don't know why but nurseing homes really really bother me and I think it is exactly because I am a helper by nature. I can not walk away and not help so I go, I can't do a damn thing to change their lives, and I leave feeling like a failure. I agree with the Latin culture. Family doesn't leave home except in a body bag.
Jan. 8th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
I’ve visited some nursing homes where the smell of urine is grotesque, and often wonder if the cleaning workers are doing their jobs. I’ve also gone to others where I can’t smell urine at all.

I’ve rarely encountered a patient who didn’t want visitors. The ones who make it obvious that they want to be left alone, I keep away from. But believe me; you are doing something good by visiting them. I can see it in the eyes of some that they look forward to my visits. There’s this one man very tall man in a wheel chair, who must be about in his early 40’s. He can barely speak, but his eyes light up when he sees me. He would always ask me for a cigarette, and I’d always tell him I didn’t smoke. His eyes would go all sad, just like a baby. So what I started doing was taking him one cigarette made out of bubble gum. He puts it in his mouth and pretends he’s smoking it. Then he puckers his lips like a child and says sweetly, “Thaaank yoooou.”

Yes, Latin families also show great respect to their elderly. My girlfriend’s mother kept her terminally ill father at her home and cared for him until the day he died in the home. When he passed away, the coroner came and took him away.

Whenever my Grandpa becomes so sick that there’s no hope, there’s no way in hell I’ll send him off to a nursing home. I will keep him in my home, until the day he dies.
Jan. 7th, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC)
that is so sweet!
Jan. 7th, 2007 11:19 pm (UTC)
Yes, they are as sweet as can be!
Jan. 7th, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC)
My mom has worked as a nurse in nursing homes since the early 80's. Her greatest fear is one day spending her last days on Earth locked in one. Those places are more like prisons than rest homes.
Jan. 7th, 2007 11:06 pm (UTC)
I can't say as I blame her. It's like a place of the living dead there.
Jan. 7th, 2007 11:11 pm (UTC)
You're a wonderful person, you know that?
Jan. 8th, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you Sweety Pie. I try, but sometimes I fail miserably.
Jan. 7th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)
Speaking of our up coming wedding. I'm sure your boobies are fabulous but they can not compare to your heart.
Jan. 8th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
You always manage to make me feel so special!
Jan. 9th, 2007 12:40 am (UTC)
It is not difficult to make someone who gives of themselves as you do feel special. It is my great honor to know you. Your heart is as big as all outdoors and it shows in all the things you do. I am an old man and yet you make me feel well believe it or not "Sexy". You do that with humor and grace. So I'm not really making you feel special I am simply pointing out to you what for some reason you don't see. But, then again if you did see it you wouldn't be as special as you are. All that and great breasts too. Wow I'm one lucky bridegroom. :)
Jan. 10th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC)
I just don't know why you consider yourself old. I've met some men who are in their 20's and 30's, and they ARE old. They have no spunk, no humor, no personality! Now, they ARE old and blah!

Oh, and just wait 'til we get married and I get you out of your red PJ's and throw you on the bed! YUP! I'm gonna do it, 'cuz you're one SEXXXY BABE!
Jan. 10th, 2007 02:47 am (UTC)
So are you going to wear like a little black mask?
Jan. 8th, 2007 01:53 am (UTC)
You know the enjoyment I feel every week, I have such a grand time when I go in to inspect the homes in our state. I will always take a few extra minutes to say hello or chat with a few different people in each home. The Veterans Homes and those Vets in the regular homes I enjoy the most. I have found people that played base ball with my 99 year old Uncle, as well as one who served in the Pacific with my Father. Our Elderly unfortunately are a vanishing resource that we should be cherishing rather than shoving aside. So many are alone and only want to talk to someone now and then and know they are not forgotten. I can immagine how they must fel and pray that I am never in the same position.
Jan. 8th, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC)
The few minutes you give to chat with them, means the world to them.

Perhaps if we spread the word ever-so-often, more and more people will become aware that there's a whole group of people, (our elderly) who have been forgotten. Perhaps some will find it in their hearts to visit them, and make the last days in their lives a little happier.
Love you Daddy!
Jan. 8th, 2007 01:04 pm (UTC)
why are they dumped?
Jan. 8th, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
They dump them off, because they aren’t productive anymore, and are a hindrance to them. From the day they are left at the nursing home, they never again visit or call. It's kind of burying them alive.

This isn't the case with everybody. The majority leave their loved one there, because it's impossible for them to care for him, but they do visit them often, and provide the things they need, especially love.
Jan. 8th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC)
This is a good thing to do. You have a good heart, :o)
You know that makes me think of something, you don't have to be in a home to be all alone in this world. The person that lives right next door may be all alone too and need some of your time as well.
Jan. 8th, 2007 07:54 pm (UTC)
Yes, that is sadly true.
Jan. 9th, 2007 08:16 am (UTC)
I hope you had a great day sunshine! :o) ((hugs))
Jan. 9th, 2007 05:38 am (UTC)
You do have a very huge HEART.

I do visit some shutin's with lunches with meals on wheels. I know how much these people appreciate even a small visit. I call them my Lunch Buddies. I love them all.
Jan. 10th, 2007 12:48 am (UTC)
I can just imagine how happy the become when they see you. Not only do you take them goodies, but friendship!

There was this little old lady who was 106 yrs. old, who was completely alone in this world. She was a tiny lady, with the face of an angel, and she would clap her hands gently whenever she saw me. She had the sweetest smile I've ever seen in my life. I'd gently give her hugs and kisses, because she was so fragile, I thought she'd break.

One day I went back and she wasn't in her room. I went to the lunchroom and she wasn't there in her wheel chair either. I ask for her and was told she'd passed away. I took it very badly, and felt I'd just lost one of my own flesh and blood.

You are precious Ron!
Jan. 10th, 2007 03:38 am (UTC)
Aw shucks
Naw I am just a guy who has changed direction in life. I found out that I can help people and I did not do much of that for a long time in my life. So for me it is about time I did.

Taking lunches to those little ole people is the high point of my week.
When I started doing it, I thought it was too easy. Then I lost a few to death and nursing homes. That hurt.

Then I became attached to all of them. Many of the ladies can't wait to give me a hug, they feel slighted if I don't give them one. Now when I see them, I see changes from week to week. When they hurt, I hurt. I am learning compassion.

What was easy, is now at times the hardest thing I do during the week.

It is still the best day in the week, I look at it different now.

I am only doing what the Big Guy suggests I do. grin...
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

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