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According to statistics, marriages still outnumber divorces, but the gap is closing too fast. Why is marriage becoming a failed institution so quickly?

I can't understand how two people, madly in love at first, suddenly find that they are incompatible, and totally miserable in a marriage that should never have been?

How is it possible for a couple to love each other in the beginning, only to end up hating, even despising one another? What events have caused loving relationships to completely breakdown?

Are you happily married? If so, what have you found to be the secret formula for a happy and lasting marriage?

Are you now divorced? If so, why do you feel your marriage failed?
What factors caused you or your partner to decide that you wished to no longer remain married? For those who have children, what effects did your divorce cause for them?

If you are divorced, do you wish to ever again remarry?

For those of you how have never been married, does the institution of marriage frighten you as much as it does me? Have your personal observations, or the statistics on failed marriages, frightened you away from ever taking that step?

My personal choice is to remain a confirmed Bachelorette. How many of you have decided to remain a Bachelorette? A Bachelor?

When it comes to this most important step in your life, do you feel it's best to think with your head, or think with your heart?

Could you please give me your thoughts on some of my questions?


"As long as it's LEAGAL, I can pretty much do whatever
I wish, and behave in whatever outrageous manner I
want. Why? Because I'm SINGLE, because I'm FREE,
because I'm NOT in love, and because
I'm TOTALLY independent!"
- Playgirl

"When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand"
one another, but a sign that they have,
at last, begun to."
- Helen Rowland

"A divorce is like an amputation: you
survive it, but there's less of you."
- Margaret Atwood

"Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed."
- Albert Einstein


Jun. 16th, 2006 12:17 am (UTC)
I have found that when a couple marries when they are older, the marriage stands a much better chance of surviving. It may be that as one grows older, maturity sets in and one comes to know oneself better.

I honestly believe that when two people become good friends first, and grow to love and respect one another because of that friendship, then marriage has a greater chance of survival. I don’t believe the important thing is trusting each other, but more like proving to that they CAN be trusted. And loyalty, there must be loyalty ALWAYS and FOREVER!

I have seen wives belittle their husband’s because they lost their job and can’t find one, or the husband makes less money than someone else’s. This is where compassion comes in. There should always be compassion for the others misgivings. Forgiveness is also a most important factor.

Each MUST giving each other their space and not expect (suffocating) the other to provide constant entertainment for him/her.

Communication. If something is bothering you, you must feel comfortable in knowing that you can bring it out in the open to try and work it out.

Last but not least, there is sex. Both should always make an attempt at totally and completely satisfying each other. AND they should always kiss before they go to sleep! :o)

As for growing old with each other, I believe Robert Browning said it best with these beautiful words that make my heart go pitter-patter:

"Grow old with me! The best is yet to be."
- Robert Browning
Jun. 17th, 2006 06:07 pm (UTC)
Nice quote.

You hit a lot of good points too. There's just so much, but then again, I'm glad there is. Makes it that much better, you know?

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