Playgirl's Mechanical World (playgirl) wrote,
Playgirl's Mechanical World

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Yes, you already know about one of my COUNTLESS phobias, but this one is really getting out of hand! It’s become an obsession!

These nightmares must stop! I wake up at night, soaked in sweat, screaming in sheer terror. It's not so much that death frightens me, but I live with this constant fear, that I’ll kick the bucket and they’ll discover my dead body with old, tattered and dirty panties! I'd simply die of embarrassment. I always make sure to keep a huge stock of new ones on hand, which I've come to call my WONDER panties, because I often WONDER how my big tush fits into them.

"I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures,
it's like putting on dirty panties every day."
- Brigitte Bardot

I realize the mortician's work will demand intimate contact with my body by taking off my clothes (sure hope his nasty cold latex gloves don't give me a chill), and my dirty old holey panties, in order to bathe, and embalm me with that sickeningly sweet smelling embalming fluid, so he can prepare my dead body into a DROP DEAD gorgeous babe for my viewing audience. ...hmmm... hope he doesn't mess up my lipstick when he injects that needle injector with wire through the flesh of my lips to close my mouth. I must remind him that right before he starts sucking my heart, along with my blood and all my intestines into a bucket with that damn suction hose, to place a bulb of garlic right next to where my heart USED TO BE! I wouldn't want any vampires messing around with my poor helpless body, now would I!

"Limp Bizkit Ice-cream would taste like the
sweetes pair of panties in the world.
It would taste like sushi. Sushi or panties."
- Fred Durst

My little Elmo loves all my panties, but he just can't decide which ones I should be buried in when that day comes. I already know which ones I'll be wearing, should I kick the bucket during the Christmas Holiday's. (The green ones with the cute little candy canes, heh heh). I will be wearing my white socks that I brought back from Korea to keep my toes warm. They do so fit like a glove around my toes!

Now here is my question, because I just CAN'T decide. Which one of my panties should I have the mortician put on me on D.D.Day (Dead Dame Day), the white panties, or the hot pick ones? It's very important to me, because in the end, I want more than anything for all my mourners to say, "Death Becomes Her!"


"I think that's a very kinky issue with the
panties and bras. That's the thing that
they will display: shoes, panties and bras."
- Imelda Marcos

Join The NRA

"The Right Of The People To Keep and
Bear Arms, Shall Not Be infringed."

U.S. Army
Join the U.S. Army
Tags: playgirl's panties terror
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