I AM CLOSE TO DEATH WITH PAIN
I am close to death with pain, and the hell with my grammar and spelling!!
Yesterday evening, I went out to feed all my 10 cats and especially remember the tree little kittens crunching away at the Meow Mix I had placed in their little bowls. I remember this little kitten because I had just taken it and washed its little eyes with a cloth with water.
I remember taking this picture, of one of my favorite little statues, thinking to myself what little rascals they all were, to have accidentally pushed it down my porch. As much as I loved this statue, I was happy to know that they were happy, healthy little cats, having so much fun playing.
It's impossible for me to express here how horrible I feel. The images of this precious little angel will never be erased from my mind. To see this beautifully healthy little furry body, become torn pieces, is just too much to bear.
I'm so stupid. I thought the mama cat was a boy who was getting too fat. I've had 7 of them fixed, but never did the mama of this little kitten. Had I been more careful, this little kitten, as well as the other one, would never have come into this earth to be murdered in such a vicious way.
I'll never forget this particular little kitten, because every time he'd see me, he'd run towards me. I honestly believe he thought I looked like a chicken wing! I'll always remember having held him just yesterday evening; holding him lovingly in my hands while I washing his little eyes. I can still feel his tiny body in my hands.
I'm really dying from pain here. There's a lump in my throat. My eyes are balls of vinegar.
I feel such rage. I want so badly, to go and beat the living shit out of someone. I want to do this so very badly. I'm about to explode.
MY DARLING LIVE JOURNAL FRIEND, this little kitten wanted to live so much. I'm dying because I found this little bundle of joy, this little helpless kitten, torn to pieces. This little kitten was so afraid of everything, so defenseless. This little kitten wanted to live, wanted to survive, wanted to grow up and climb on the trees, and play in the grass, and eat lots of Meow Mix, and drink fresh milk, and live a happy and safe life. But it was not to be. He had no choice. YOU AND I DO.
STAY ALIVE ALWAYS MY FRIEND, my heart is shattered enough as it is. Should anything happen to you, I will be broken to pieces. It will be impossible for anyone to glue me back together again. YOU hold my life in your hands. You and I ARE children. You and I will FOREVER be children in our hearts. I need your continued friendship DESPERATELY. I love you my friend! I really do! STAY SAFE, PLEASE!
I am in so much pain, I must go vomit.
Second Kitten Murdered
Third Kitten Murdered