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I am preparing for battle, all over AGAIN, and preparing for heartbreak.

There are three very important people in my life, Norma, Lolly and Glory. I’ve recently lost Norma through a misunderstanding, and will soon lose Lolly because she’s moving to Phoenix, Arizona.

I will go into EXACT details about these things, in my next post, just to keep for my records.

1. I GOT my water rights back that the city STOLE from me, but I had to AGAIN, do battle back in Feb. with them because of TAXES!

2. My property value was raised a whopping $33,000.00 in 2004, and I just got another city appraisal, adding another whopping value of $24,000.00 to my house. What does this mean? It means that I pay MORE property taxes on my house!! I honestly believe that there is some EVIL entity in America, trying to force homeowners to lose their homes.

3. I have hired a REAL ESTATE LAWYER for the house in Oceanside, CA. An unforeseen problem came up.

4. I have lost one of one of my three best girlfriends’ due to a misunderstanding. It breaks my heart because I’ve always loved her so.

5. I will be losing my second best friend, Lolly, because she’s relocating to Phoenix, Arizona sometime in June.

6. August will be the month again, for my Dad to check to see how that prostrate cancer is going. I live in fear of losing him.

7. My oldest brother, who is stationed in San Antonio, and who has made the military a career, and who will retire in two more years, at the age of 38, will have to go for one year to Iraq. I will worry so much about him.

8. I made a terribly stupid mistake with one of my LJ friends.

9. It is the month of May, the month that I was murdered and covered in purple, so long ago. It is a frightening month to live through, but we are already on the 12th day of this month, and June will soon approach, and the fear will subside.

I find myself, as of late, in a pretty vulnerable position. I’m feeling terribly sorry for myself right now, and I’m very much afraid because I have come to realize that I am TOTALLY alone in this world to fend for myself, my Grandpa and my many pets.

I read in one of my LJ friend’s journal, how he had a long conversation on the phone with his mother, and how he asked her for advice, and how she’s the best mother in the world. I was so happy to read that, but it also made me sad because I don’t have a mother anymore, and how I wish I did, so I could run to her and cry, and ask her for advice.

Seems like I'm always having to fight for my rights, maybe it's because I'm a girl who is all by herself. Yes, I’m feeling terribly sorry for myself at this point, and I’m feeling terribly tired and terribly afraid, but I am a fighter and a survivor, and all this will come to pass in my favor once again, I’m sure.



( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 12th, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
I can relate to about half of that. Good luck.
May. 12th, 2006 03:39 pm (UTC)
You can? Then I send you many, many hugs and smooches!

I'll be commenting soon, on your answers on my Interview to you. You shared a few things there, that made me see you with great restpect and admiration, my friend.
(no subject) - hellbillyright - May. 12th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hellbillyright - May. 13th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 12th, 2006 03:12 pm (UTC)
3. I sure hope things are resolved to your satisfaction very quickly.
4. Can you go to her and tell her how important your relationship with her is to you? And that you want to do everything you can to try to restore it? I realize that if she doesn't want to restore it, there may not be anything you can do right now. If that is the case, give her some time and contact her again and tell her Hi and that you have been thinking about her and wondering how she is doing. I know, I know i am being too "bossy" and I apologize. But I so hate to see a close relationship lost. Life is too sort.
6. I sure hope he is OK. Let us know.
8. Again something similar to 4 above. I know, I know!!

Anytime you need to talk or vent...don't hesitate.
May. 12th, 2006 09:32 pm (UTC)
I hope so, too.

No, I can't. Although I love her to death, I have way too much pride to do that. She'll have to come to me, or no dice. I know, I'm terrible, but I'll can't change.

Thank you for wishing my dad well, and I will share the outcome about he tests.

I really appreciate you being my friend, Sweety Pie!
May. 12th, 2006 03:40 pm (UTC)
Thank God I haven't lost my sense of humor and ability to laugh like crazy!

Thank you my darling friend, for that link and for making me laugh.
Love and big hugs!
May. 12th, 2006 03:33 pm (UTC)
Has you may remember I have no parents so I can relate with how you feel. My mother gave me so much advice during her lifetime(most of which I didn't take) Now, whenever I'm troubled and need that advice. I replay her words through my mind. She's always with me that way:)
You're not alone in having to fight for your rights. Most anyone that has property or a business has to from time to time. Good luck with that!
Oh, and *hugs* because I want to:)
May. 12th, 2006 03:51 pm (UTC)
You and I have so many things in common.

I wish everybody that still have their moms, would realize what a treasure they have. One can replace just about anything in life, but not a mother. It feels like I lost her unexpectedly only yesterday, and seems quite impossible to know that is was last year.

It's sad, that when one tries so hard to be successful by owning property, there's always some bastard who tries to destroy you. I sometimes feel like losing everything I own, just so I can go and beat the shit out of certain maggots. But, you and I both know, that our hands are tied behind our backs, because if we do, they will sue us for everything!
Love you my friend!
May. 12th, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC)
It's tough going through life pretty much by yourself. Things can seem so overwhelming at times. The responsibility can seem like much too much.

And when a lot of things seem to be going wrong or not going the way you would like it, it can really get to you and emphasize that alone feeling.

Maybe you're coming to a point in your life where you would like someone to share in your life more closely. I think that's pretty normal.

At any rate, the best I can offer you is to be someone who cares and listens and comments without judging. It's OK to feel down now and then, we all do.

Hugs and hugs.
May. 12th, 2006 08:05 pm (UTC)
Yes, it is very hard sometimes, especially when you know that you alone, are responsible, 100%, for the survival of so many animals and Grandpa.

No, I will be going at this thing called life, totally alone forever. The person who might have change my mind about this, does not, nor will he ever exist. I know this for a fact.

One thing is for sure, I am blessed for having somehow encountered beloved LJ friends such as you!
Love you Sweety Pie!

(no subject) - moon_shine - May. 13th, 2006 03:14 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 12th, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC)
9. It is the month of May, the month that I was murdered and covered in purple, so long ago. It is a frightening month to live through, but we are already on the 12th day of this month, and June will soon approach, and the fear will subside.

WAIT, you were covered in purple? after being murdered?

well look on the bright side there's ALOT of good things going on this month.
Memorial Day and the big races that weekend and uhm X-Men 3 comes out later this month and so does that new Kurt Russell remake movie and uhm my birthday and uhmmm lots of good things.


Your not all by yourself.
May. 12th, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
Yes I am totally alone.

You're right, May does have some great days. Memorial Day and your BIRTHDAY! YAY!! :o)
(no subject) - fanatic - May. 13th, 2006 05:05 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 12th, 2006 03:44 pm (UTC)
Murphys law
I can so relate to what you are going through in your life at this point. I am feeling very alone, myself. I have two brothers and two sisters that are not close to me at all at this time. Our dear mother passed away a few years ago and that started to sever the ties with my two sisters. As for my two brothers, we did not have a very close relationship as adults. I am going through changes in my life that are either going to kill me or make me stronger. I choose to believe the latter. I do, however, have to thank my dear friend from high school, Porky, for listening to my whinning and crying. I have shed a few tears in my hanky while visitng her. She has helped me in so many ways during these three months of heartache. I want to thank her from the bottom of my heart. I accidently bumped into your website, playgirl, and think you are a beautiful and interesting individual. I wish I could meet you in person. I believe Norma, Lolly and Glory are very lucky to have you as a real life friend. See you in a dream......
May. 12th, 2006 04:08 pm (UTC)
Love and kisses you know I am here any time you wont
keep strong and know that I am keeping you in my heart :)
May. 12th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC)
I know my darling, and you're in my heart, safe and sound!
(Deleted comment)
May. 12th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
Would it be possible for you to add that link here in my journal so I can go and read it?

I know exactly how you feel about losing your cat. I lost Penny, the toy poodle that I'd had since I was a teen. She was my best friend and shared all the good and bad things in my life. I try not to think about her too much because it's just too painful. I buried her right under my bedroom window.

I'm sorry you've felt the heartbreak of losing your baby!
Great big bear hugs given with much love from me to you!
May. 12th, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
Scratch #8 off the list.
May. 12th, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC)
Re: -
Not yet, because I still feel terrible. That LJ friend never deserved my stupidity. :o(

I'll be commenting in a little while.
May. 12th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
Life is a battle. Lets win it.

I'm with you on the property thing. The way it is in this country leaves most of us teetering on the edge of losing the property the entire time we own it. Crazy.

Saw your interview questions for me the other day, but I'm getting my Puter fixed, and I'll post to that early next week. Thanks, I love the questions.
May. 12th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Smackdown
It's sad that our government is somehow killing our hopes in the American Dream. I just can't see how many more pennies I can pinch, to try to pay the outrageously sinful taxes they are imposing on us!

Look forward to the answers! :o)

And yes, life is a battle, but we are invincible, aren't we?! YAY!
May. 12th, 2006 11:03 pm (UTC)
We have a tax cap here in Mass of 2.5% of your prop. value. The people in my town voted to override the cap. So, now we have a 15% increase in taxes to look forward to + revaluation. Since the comuter rail moved out here from Boston all the farmers are selling their land for developments. We have a 2 acre min. lot size, so all their building are mini-mansions. Fortunately, my neighbor has signed onto a federal program so his land, no matter who owns it, can only be used for agricultural. So, I'll always have woods and farmland around us.
Perhaps as I get to know you better, I'll learn more about the significance of the month of May...hope so.
Be strong.
May. 13th, 2006 12:14 am (UTC)
Sorry, that was me, wasn't logged in :o(
Too bad they voted to override it.

It is frightening how much the E.P. City Appraisal District has been the value on our homes. Yes, I do have a full acre, and my house is very big, but it is 50 years old!

I will be making a future new post on this topic with what the outcome will be when I go fight this.

I am so happy to find you'll continue to be surrounded by the beauty of nature!

Maybe someday.
Hugs and kisses Sweety Pie!
May. 13th, 2006 04:51 am (UTC)
Good for you for not letting anyone push you around and fighting for your rights. It's exhausting, though, but girls like us can't *not* fight back ;)

I'm sorry to hear about your friendships, however, people who do not care to sort out simple misunderstandings are not people who will be there for you in the long run anyway, thus it may be best that they're gone. I am lost as far as the significance of May, however, I know you can get through anything because you are strong ( and beautiful! :)
May. 15th, 2006 03:35 am (UTC)
~hugs you flat~
May. 15th, 2006 05:48 pm (UTC)
Splatters self against your big strong body!
(no subject) - olafthunderfoot - May. 15th, 2006 07:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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