Playgirl's Mechanical World (playgirl) wrote,
Playgirl's Mechanical World

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I am preparing for battle, all over AGAIN, and preparing for heartbreak.

There are three very important people in my life, Norma, Lolly and Glory. I’ve recently lost Norma through a misunderstanding, and will soon lose Lolly because she’s moving to Phoenix, Arizona.

I will go into EXACT details about these things, in my next post, just to keep for my records.

1. I GOT my water rights back that the city STOLE from me, but I had to AGAIN, do battle back in Feb. with them because of TAXES!

2. My property value was raised a whopping $33,000.00 in 2004, and I just got another city appraisal, adding another whopping value of $24,000.00 to my house. What does this mean? It means that I pay MORE property taxes on my house!! I honestly believe that there is some EVIL entity in America, trying to force homeowners to lose their homes.

3. I have hired a REAL ESTATE LAWYER for the house in Oceanside, CA. An unforeseen problem came up.

4. I have lost one of one of my three best girlfriends’ due to a misunderstanding. It breaks my heart because I’ve always loved her so.

5. I will be losing my second best friend, Lolly, because she’s relocating to Phoenix, Arizona sometime in June.

6. August will be the month again, for my Dad to check to see how that prostrate cancer is going. I live in fear of losing him.

7. My oldest brother, who is stationed in San Antonio, and who has made the military a career, and who will retire in two more years, at the age of 38, will have to go for one year to Iraq. I will worry so much about him.

8. I made a terribly stupid mistake with one of my LJ friends.

9. It is the month of May, the month that I was murdered and covered in purple, so long ago. It is a frightening month to live through, but we are already on the 12th day of this month, and June will soon approach, and the fear will subside.

I find myself, as of late, in a pretty vulnerable position. I’m feeling terribly sorry for myself right now, and I’m very much afraid because I have come to realize that I am TOTALLY alone in this world to fend for myself, my Grandpa and my many pets.

I read in one of my LJ friend’s journal, how he had a long conversation on the phone with his mother, and how he asked her for advice, and how she’s the best mother in the world. I was so happy to read that, but it also made me sad because I don’t have a mother anymore, and how I wish I did, so I could run to her and cry, and ask her for advice.

Seems like I'm always having to fight for my rights, maybe it's because I'm a girl who is all by herself. Yes, I’m feeling terribly sorry for myself at this point, and I’m feeling terribly tired and terribly afraid, but I am a fighter and a survivor, and all this will come to pass in my favor once again, I’m sure.

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