Playgirl's Mechanical World (playgirl) wrote,
Playgirl's Mechanical World

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I'm sometimes known for my deep compassion towards animals, the homeless, and prisoners. After I express my innermost thoughts, most of you will probably believe I'm a cold hearted bitch, and in some aspects of life I AM.

My cousin committed suicide yesterday. I'll call him John Doe. He was the son of one of my dad's sisters. I never cared much for John Doe, who was brought up in a most loving home. His parents provided everything for their children. I might add that they lost another son, a couple of years ago, who died of an over dose of drugs. I will NEVER understand why some people do drugs in the first place, but that's another issue! I always felt my aunt and uncle spoiled their kids too much and catered to their every whim. They were brought up so differently from the way my brothers and I were, and often times felt a little jealous because our parents believed in bringing us up through tough love.

John Doe was spoiled rotten (DID NOT do drugs) and grew up to be a self centered, egotistical brat. He felt his parents and the world OWED him. He had his own apartment, but would constantly go over to his parent's house for money and to make life miserable for them. One time, he went late at night and laid in the middle of the street, right in front of the parent's house, trying to get attention.

This is how he committed suicide:

He left his apartment and headed straight for his parent's home. Once he got there, he started making trouble and when my aunt told him to leave, he went through one of his usual major tantrums and stormed out the door, heading straight for his dad's garage, and drank every chemical he could find. Anti Freeze, gasoline; you name it! He started screaming in agonizing pain for help. My aunt and uncle ran outside and found him. They called an ambulance immediately.

Now, what I CANNOT understand is why the hell did he do that? If he was going to commit suicide, why didn't he do it in his own apartment, or better yet, go out into the desert and do it? Why go all the way to his parent's house to do something like that?

My aunt had to be taken to the hospital for shock and isn't doing very well. My uncle is taking it horribly, as are my cousins. Had he killed himself elsewhere, this family would have been spared the horror they experienced at their home.

I am so angry and upset with John Doe for doing this. He chose to leave this earth with a big bang and he did, at the expense of his mom, dad, and siblings. They didn't deserve this! How much more humane it would have been for the rest of the family, if he had just gone out in the boonies.

I pray that my poor aunt survives this horror that her son so maliciously caused her! How I wish he hadn't of done such a horrible and foolish thing!

I've allowed myself to cry for only a few minutes, and will NOT cry over this ever again. I've blocked this out of my mind, and my life will now go on as usual.

I've made up my mind, I WILL NOT go to the rosary or the funeral!

Join The NRA
"The Right Of The People To Keep and
Bear Arms, Shall Not Be infringed."

Join the U.S. Army

Tags: death, marijuana, suicide
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