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What's the worst date you ever had?

Let me share with you that I've endured many, but these two have to be the very worst!

I must have been 15 or 16 years old, when this guy from school asked me out on a date. I accepted.

He took me to the football game and everything was going fine until I asked him to buy me a Coke. He grabbed my arm and took me with him. When we got to the refreshment stand, he ordered the Coke and handed it to me.

On our way back to the bleachers, he stopped me, and without warning, grabbed me and gave me a kiss. The guy shoved his ENTIRE STINKY, SLITHERING tongue INSTANTLY down my throat (I guess it was supposed to be a French Kiss) and wouldn't let go. He had the back of my head almost touching my spine. Gagging, I dropped the Coke to push him away from me. It was close to impossible, but finally managed. I was a few seconds too late because I ended up barfing all over myself, and the jerk.


The second worst date I ever had WASN'T really a date at all.

Joe Blow and I had been good FRIENDS for a very long time. One day, he invited me out to eat at some fancy restaurant. As usual, I accepted.

We checked the menu over and ordered. We continued talking and laughing and having a merry old time as we sipped on our drinks. He asked me what was new. I replied sweetly, "I met a guy that I like and I'm going to marry him." Joe Blow gave me a peculiar smiled, then told me that he'd be right back.

I waited. The waiter came and placed our dinner on the table. I continued sipping my Margarita as I waited for Joe Blow to return. I finished my Margarita, and still no Joe Blow. I waited, and I WAITED, AND I WAITED! Finally I got up and went to look for him.

Guess what? He had left, never to return!

I made it back to the table, by a hair's breadth. I started sweating profusely. My bones wouldn't stop rattling, my teeth started clanking loudly; then I started to crying, not because my feelings were hurt, but because I was VERY embarrassed and VERY angry! Through trembling lips, I asked the waiter, who stared at me through forlorn eyes, to bring the check. I paid it and left.

I never saw Joe Blow again. Sure wish I had of 'cause I still have this urge to beat the living shit out of him!

Funny, I never did get married, and I lost a friend who turned out to be an asshole!

What's the worst date you ever had?




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Comments

( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
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j_u_d_a_s
Dec. 14th, 2005 01:32 am (UTC)
Maybe Joe Blow was abducted? They're probably still holding him waiting for you to pay the ransom.
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 01:46 am (UTC)
Hope they send me one of his ears!
pixy_pistol
Dec. 14th, 2005 01:37 am (UTC)
I didn't have any worst dates that I would want to talk about. (They were violent.) But grief, sweetie! Why on earth would he do such a nasty thing? Did he ask you out to something and then find out he couldn't afford it? What is worse is that if he were a good friend for a very long time, why on earth did he end your friendship in that way??!!
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 01:45 am (UTC)
He had money, but when I told him that I was going to get married, he showed his true colors.
I always treated him as a friend and nothing more.
Good riddance!



But now you've got that angel, Joe! YAY!
And you're an angel, too!
(no subject) - pixy_pistol - Dec. 14th, 2005 01:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - playgirl - Dec. 14th, 2005 04:58 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pixy_pistol - Dec. 14th, 2005 10:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jerris_darkrun_ - Dec. 14th, 2005 02:21 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - playgirl - Dec. 14th, 2005 02:28 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jerris_darkrun_ - Dec. 14th, 2005 02:33 am (UTC) - Expand
lordremo
Dec. 14th, 2005 01:48 am (UTC)
And somewhere
... in some desolate land wearing his legionaire's cap, a lonely sgt. Joe Blow stares at the heavens and wonders.... what if?

Tough call... a 3 way tie I think. (but not the 3-way, though!)

1. Took a girl named Cat out to a beach party. She hooked up with another guy and I left here there. Sadly not the last time I dated her.

2. Blind date set up by my best buddy and his soon to be wife/ex/burden from Hell. Was told she grew up on a farm... not told she was one of the cattle. Was grabby, giggly and gnarly. Physically left the car to escape her.

3. Went out with an older woman from work in the 80's, along with co-worers. Went to a strip bar and all drank. Afterwards she wouldn't give up in the parking lot pawing me. End up taking her to my place ( lived with my Dad at the time) and after bad sex she has a screaming fit waking up the whole block, deciding she would walk home. It was one of those moments where you never speak of it with your Pop. It's just past.

Gee, I notice nobody ELSE gave up THEIR secrets?
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:44 am (UTC)
Re: And somewhere
So far, it looks like we're the only ones who have share our "Dates From Hell" secrets!

It's good to look back and laugh at memories that once upset us so!

Thanks for sharing and hugs!
(Deleted comment)
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:36 am (UTC)
Thank you! I have lots of memoirs to share, but my grammar, which sucks, hold me back most of the time!
Hugs Huggy Bear!
doctorteeth
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:13 am (UTC)
Woah.. those are bad! I should do this in my lj... I don't think I could match yours though :)
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:32 am (UTC)
Try it! I sure would love to read about it!
(no subject) - doctorteeth - Dec. 14th, 2005 04:08 am (UTC) - Expand
jerris_darkrun_
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:21 am (UTC)
I've never had a "bad" date....but I've created one or two out of revenge.
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:30 am (UTC)
Maybe someday you'll share, you naughty boy!
(no subject) - jerris_darkrun_ - Dec. 14th, 2005 02:38 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - playgirl - Dec. 14th, 2005 05:11 am (UTC) - Expand
maffewk
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:34 am (UTC)
I met a girl on the net a long time ago before it was really easy to get your picture online. She told me what she looked like and I believed her. We didn't really talk romantically at all, just talked as friends in chatrooms and via email.

She was going to move to my hometown so I told her I would show her around when she got there. When I met her she looked nothing like what she told me she did. She was extremely overweight when she had told me before that she had a curvy but athletic build. She had brown hair, not blonde, green eyes, not blue, etc. etc. etc.

I shrugged it off because there wasn't any romantic talk between us. Later as I was walking her back to her dorm we sat on a bench near a lake on campus just to chat. After a while she looked at me and said, "Matt, I want you to be my first."

Not even thinking along that line I responded, "your first what?"

haha

After that I think she got the clue that I had no interest at all...
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC)
I tend to feel sorry for the girl, but I feel you handled the situation very well. When you innocently replied, "your first what?" little did you realize that you were getting a big message across to her without intentionally hurting her feelings.
Hugs!
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
Re: Part 2 - playgirl - Dec. 14th, 2005 02:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
inspectorjury
Dec. 14th, 2005 02:46 am (UTC)
I don't think I've ever had a worst date. Once a girl told me she hated my cologne then complained to me the next day because I didn't kiss her goodnight. But, mostly I've had really good luck with women. Well wait......Once after the death of my wife I went on a blind internet date. I agreed to meet the woman at the Holiday Inn in a town about fifty miles from where I live. I got there and it was storming, water coming straight down. This old Ford Tarus with an Elvis licence plate pulled in the lot. The woman turned out to be two hundred fifty pounds on a 5 foot 2 inch frame. Her teeth were rotted and she had hair like a serving of yellow cotton candy. I could handle all that but then when we went to the place to eat she was mean and harassed the waitress. That was it for me. After dinner I paid the bill, bid her goodby and ran for the car. I was a really sad evening.
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 04:10 pm (UTC)
Radar
Femininity, good manners and charm in a woman can beguile even the most stubborn Cobra. Even the most unattractive woman who she possesses these qualities, is always sought after for an endearing relationship.

Volumes were told, when she harassed the waitress. Insolence is always unacceptable in both men and women. It's a good thing you finally trusted your instincts and ran for your car!

I sometimes have the potential to spot a hazardous situation, just like radar, and this woman was dangerous!

The woman you wrote about brought this quote to my mind:

When a woman behaves like a man why doesn't she behave like a nice man?
- Dame Edith Evans

Thanks for sharing!
Hugs Sweety Pie!
asifallforever
Dec. 14th, 2005 03:18 am (UTC)
I'm not excusing what joe blow did. But i subscribe to the school of thought that men and women really can't be friends. Well only if neither is attracted to each other. In this case i think this dinner was the opprotunity to make his move. he is what i like to call a hanger on. Women who have a lot of guy friends seemingly fail to realize that a large number if their "guy friends," are just waiting their chance to get at them. When the bubble bursts and the realize they don't have a chance they go away. I think what happened in this case is the guy fell for you pretty hard. He saw his chance and took it. When you busrt his proverbial bubble. He freaked and just kept walking because at the time thats all he could do. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't walk right off a bridge that night but thats only speculation. The behavior you described though. Suggests that he had a pretty big thing for you. Had i been in his shoes. (I personnally wouldn't have done what he did but for logic purposes i must step in his shoes.) I would have at least secretly paid the bill and then vanished. P.S. I have to say i really enjoy having you on my friends list!
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC)
You got me looking at that whole situation differently. I believe you are correct, and if you are, what a shame he had to react that way because I would of been his good friend for life!

I enjoy having you on my flist, also, and I really appreciate the day you accepted me as your lj friend!
Hugs Sweety Pie!
sonofabish
Dec. 14th, 2005 03:36 am (UTC)
Yikes to both. And I guess Joe wasn't happy to hear the news.

A couple of horror stories- one mine, one someone else's.

A good friend of mine was engaged and one day she and her fiance went to the beach. He left to go buy a coke or something and he never returned. She never got any explanation, never heard from him again. Frankly I hope he had gotten kidnapped by aliens and repeatedly sodomized with unpleasant objects.

As for mine.... I met someone online. She sounded decent, age and her description of her physical appearance made me at least be willing to give it a go.

So I show up and am waiting outside and I see this woman walking up and looking around. She looked a good 15 years older than she said and her description that she was fit was a very large stretch. I was about to skulk away when she locked eyes. I had done too good a job describing myself.

Nice guy that I am, rather than saying 'you're not as you described yourself', I decided to go in with her, have a drink, and then split as soon as would be polite.

Bad move.

She was an utter and complete psychopath. She talked endlessly about her divorce, her sick cat, and how she hates her job, blah blah blah blah blah. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a couple of friends from high school walk in the door and see me sitting there with psycho troll from hell. They come over to say hi and one of them nodded toward her and asked who she was and before I could open my mouth she chirps in 'I'm his date- don't we make a great couple?'

I then jabbed myself in the eye with a fork. Repeatedly.

I chugged down my drink and gestured the waitress for a check and the troll got ugly. I mean uglier. 'Oh, so you're leaving already? blah blah blah'.

I gave the waitress money and just about ran out of there. I was so paranoid of her following me and getting my car license plate and tracking me down that I walked around the block a couple of times until I was sure she wasn't spying on me.
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
What a stinker he turned out to be! Looks like your friend got a case of last minute cold feet. Who knows, maybe he'll show up someday, fabricating an abduction by some stranger as he "jogged" to get his fiancée a Coke, just like that Albuquerque bride-to-be, Jennifer Wilbanks.

What is it about Cokes?! My date went wild just as soon as he handed my Coke!!

Oh my! What a terrible experience you had! What a clever thing you did by meeting in a public place. I'd hate to imagine what further hell you might have experienced had you giving her your address and phone number to begin with!

I think having Online encounters is a very bad and unsafe idea to do for both men and women.

So glad you were able to ditch her, without further a due!

Thanks for sharing!
Hugs!
see_dog
Dec. 14th, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
well put it this way...I'm a film maker right....and I went out with this girl who DIDN'T WATCH T.V. My life essentially revolves around digital media and she doesn't even dable..nor does she have interest..she just reads books...I was like "okay then"..that date lasted about 30 minutes tops. We had like nothing in common. AHhh the joy of blind dates...now who was it that set me up on that date...so I can find them and shoot them.
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 09:11 pm (UTC)
I'm on my way, to help you
punch him in the nose!

Now I know why they call it a BLIND DATE! It's the BLIND, leading the BLIND towards catastrophe, or could it be the ultimate revenge of one person towards someone they dislike intensely?! Hmmm...I wonder...
(no subject) - see_dog - Dec. 16th, 2005 03:03 am (UTC) - Expand
choochoohiggins
Dec. 14th, 2005 04:37 am (UTC)
Worst date ever!!
This girl had this real long driveway and it was the middle of winter in Ohio. I drove all the way down it to pick her up and I go to the door and she lets me in, but I still have to wait on her to get ready so I'm like standing by the door and her dad calls her from another room...so she goes to the doorway of that room to see what he wants and he tells her "Be careful, I haven't heard too many good things about this guy" and I totally heard it and I was like.."wtf" but not loud enough for him to hear, she just walked back and grabbed my arm and walked me out the door and whispered "he's not kidding"

So as we are leaving my car gets stuck in her driveway. Her dad has to come out and help me push it out. We end up driving to the movies and the show we want to see is sold out. The wizard of oz is playing though, it was like it's 50th anniversarry at the time or something and it was at the theatres for some reason. So we got tickets to it instead. I was sitting there yawning thinking..omg this sucks sooo fucking bad, i just want to take her back to my apartment and fuck her...so I say "ya know what?? I think I've seen this before, let's take off" and she was like..."you just know fucking realized you've seen the wizard of oz before??" and I was like..." uh yea, lets go back to my apartment for a few drinks" But she was still living at home and her parents hadn't heard anything good about me so she didn't want to have a few drinks, but she said she would go back to my apartment.. I was like...cool.

So we get back to my apartment and I get a phone call. I didn't WANT to answer it, but she said "are you going to answer that?" so I did. It ended up being this other girl i was talking to. (actually it's the girl I'm with now and have been for 7 years, but at the time we were just talking) The girl on the phone wanted to make plans to come and see me on Valentines and I was trying to make the plans without being too obvious, but I was...and the girl at my apartment demanded to go home.

I took her home but I didn't want to get stuck in her driveway again so I dropped her off at the end of it and made her walk up it...lol. It was a pretty long driveway too..like 1/4 mile.
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 09:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Worst date ever!!
OMG! You stinker! I hope she was wearing her snow boots and mittens!

How can anyone yawn through the Wizard of Oz? It's among my favorites and have watched it a zillion times!

Thanks for sharing!
Hugs!

biglittlebro
Dec. 14th, 2005 09:42 am (UTC)
I think about this date often and kick myself each time I do. Yes, I'm mentally kicking myself now. I replay that moment when my big fat mouth must said those stupid things. I'm far too embarassed to even repeat what I said, but if I could redo that moment, I sure as hell would. I've often wanted to get in touch with that girl and apologise for that evening, but after all these years, it would serve very little purpose other than to salve my conscience. She is now a very respected Professor of art in Sydney.

(taking a break for my blush of embarassment to die down)


Perhaps dating catastrophes like this are a good selling point for arranged marriages.

Very big hugs.
playgirl
Dec. 14th, 2005 09:37 pm (UTC)
I'm sure we've all made mistakes we later regret. Each passing day of our lives, is like writing a letter without an eraser.

I've made several mistakes in my life, but of all those I’ve made, one in particular will gnaws at my soul for the rest of my life. I'l always wonder, "what if…"
semos
Dec. 19th, 2005 09:27 pm (UTC)
I remember reading this entry last week and thinking I've never really had a date that went horrible wrong. Then I go out with a girl this weekend. Here is and exceprt from my journal:

At one point Fran went to the bathroom and it was a while before she came back. When she did come back this other woman came up to the table smiled at Fran and said Hi and put a small piece of paper and a business card on the table and then walked away. The girl seemed to be bit drunk. Fran started laughing and I think she was blushing. So she says "This is funny story". So Fran tells me how she had gone to the restroom and this girls starts hitting on her. Telling her how beautiful she is and she asks for her number. Fran says that she's not into women and is here with a guy. The girl says she likes guys too but likes women more and suggest that Fran take her number and if she changes her mind to give her call. Fran says no that's ok. That's when Fran came back to the table.

So I'm kind of embarrassed. Felt like it was a bit of a blow to my ego. Like I'm sitting there on a date while a girl passes her number to my date. That girl had balls! I tried playing it off saying something to the affect it's understandable, your a beautiful woman. And now I have good story to tell my co-workers on Monday. But man I didn't like it. And now I'm thinking I'm not telling anybody. It was like I was invisible or something. But then it get's kinda worse. Fran takes the numbers and puts them in her purse. She says something to affect "I want to show this to my girlfriends and besides I don't want to be rude and just leave them on the table". I'm kind of thinking WTF!
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