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GOTCHA' YA' CHEATIN' SWINE!


GOTCHA' YA' CHEATIN' SWINE!


Decoy women, like Sandra Hope of Arizona-based Mate Check PI,
are paid to tempt boyfriends and husbands fidelity.

Kids, give me your honest to goodness thoughts on:

Temptress Hired To Hit On Men To Test Loyalty



DAY ONE

Comments

( 43 comments — Leave a comment )
dagulfsghost
Oct. 2nd, 2006 11:12 pm (UTC)
I personally think the whole hiring someone to try and sway your partner to cheat is BS. Women who read that article say "all men are dogs," but if a man hires another man to test his wife's fidelity, she would break. There is a breaking point that everyone has. Let's say you are a man, middle aged, overweight and have been with your wife for 15 years. Now, you hire some young guy with a rock hard body and chiseled abs to approach her in a bar, and she is middle aged, and overweight, she would jump on that in a heartbeat. This is such a double standard.

Even when I was single, if a really attractive woman approached me, I always backed off. My first thought has always been "Why in the world is she even talking to me, there has to be some gimmick or scam she is trying to run." Everyone likes to think they can pull in a really attractive man or woman, but unlike the rest of the world, I live in a little place called reality. Grandpa always told me "if it is too good to be true, then it is not true," and this rings with revelation in all aspects of life.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 02:13 pm (UTC)
A+
You get an A+ on this one.
thomask
Oct. 2nd, 2006 11:23 pm (UTC)
Some people will argue that if you aren't doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about.
But that arguement can be used to support a lot of things that shouldn't be done. Can we say Patriot Act?
Racial profiling? etc.

It is just a bad idea.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 02:23 pm (UTC)
vice versa
I can't understand why any woman would be with a man she feels she can't trust, and vice versa.

They must live in constant torment.

(Deleted comment)
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 05:07 pm (UTC)
DARE
If I were in a relationship, which I'm not, nor will I ever be, I'd get rid of the bastard, faster than you could count to ONE!

How DARE anybody do this type of sneaky low down thing to another person?!
oninofro
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:08 am (UTC)
Clearly men are the only ones cheating...
when a woman does it, it isn't cheating... *rolls eyes*

So let me get this straight - not that this is new to me btw - :

Hire a professional with an appropriate background (likely an academic base in psych or sociology combined with experience in seduction) in swaying and tempting people to tempt someone? The logic behind such a service relies on circular reasoning pretending to be causal. If a man tried this on a woman, he would be verbally and socialy lynched for daring to question the loyalty or integrity of whoever he's with. After which, it would be excused because of her 'needs' and 'drives' that 'us men simply cannot understand' regardless of whether or not anything was determined through such means that in my mind are universally unethical in nature. Following that, assuming marriage, there would likely be a divorce where in order to compensate the horribly traumatized woman, she would walk away with everything.

Now let's flip this around and apply it to male targets as initially stated. Well... 'we' are expected to cheat because apparently we have no honour nor dignity so it's ok to pay a professional to test a man because - and this is where the logic breaks down - he cannot be trusted and is likely cheating so his loyalty is being tested 'just to be sure'.

If I'm involved with someone who for whatever reason (emotions, especially jealousy and fear are ridiculously irrational) is feeling a sufficient level of uncertainty to pay someone to break the trust and respect in a relationship to determine whether or not that just is there instead of talking to them as their partner in life... enjoy the door. Buh bye. Absolutely no question or hesitation in my mind whatsoever.

Is this to say that men don't cheat? Absolutely not. Both men and women cheat generally for the same basic reasons when applying Mazlow's (sp) heirarchy. It's due, most obviously, to some form of deficiency in the relationship. But in terms of ethics, the questioning partner must initiate a lie to their partner by omission/feigned ignorance to determine the integrity of the person.

And that type of relationship is not something I attach value to.

I'm ranting because this type of thing makes me livid so if my words and thoughts seem scattered, it's because in some ways they are.
stevie_stever
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
You get two comments from me. First...

If a woman wants to do that, it's her prerogative. Her choice.

Second...

However, if she does, it should be noted that it feels to me like a litmus test similar to the Salem Witch Trials...if you drown, you're innocent, and if you're guilty, you go free and become a wench.

In the case of testing fidelity, if the man is guilty, he has fun with the woman, or tries to, at least. If he's innocent, he likely feels betrayed by the woman. I don't much care for either outcome. Each one can undermine a relationship at any stage. I'd sooner risk trusting her and her trusting me. In my opinion there's no real way to reduce the risk in a bond of trust. You have to strive to find someone you can trust and not give yourself over willingly to a person who will use you. You also have to show yourself to be trustworthy. There's no real way to get around it.
stevie_stever
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:42 am (UTC)
er wench=witch. :)
oninofro
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:49 am (UTC)
Sure I can accept that it's her choice/perogative but choice and perogative mean absolutely nothing if a person isn't bound to them.
It always gets my goat (and I don't even have any goats) whenever the rote recital of "A woman's perogative" is thrown out there without understanding or accepting the idea of responsibility for one's choices and actions.
In my universe that sometimes overlaps with the universes of others, if a person is unwilling to accept resonsibility for their actions, they are either not human or there simply was no choice/decision to be made. Each of those two options has mostly obvious outcomes...

But at the end of the day, I agree with your second response. It seems many people have chosen to forgotten the value of trust as well as it's risks. I'm glad to see however that you have not.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 06:34 pm (UTC)
her/his choice
Yes, it's her/his choice to have him/her spied on, and it's his choice to have her/him booted out for good.

I would hope the person whose been spied on, chooses to give the boot!
harley1456
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:44 am (UTC)
If you don't have trust then you have nothing to save in the first place
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 02:51 pm (UTC)
agency
How sad that a spouse would stoop so low as to hire such a disgusting agency.
(Deleted comment)
oninofro
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:58 am (UTC)
See my responses above; they apply universally.

I don't believe in excusing behaviour due to gender. Gender and gender roles can effect the cause. It can provide a rationale but I do not allow gender to dismiss behaviour; it's folly.
(Deleted comment)
oninofro
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:02 am (UTC)
Agreed. And that's why I do what I can to avoid such thought and behaviour. Hmmm... does that mean that I'm cheating on excuses and self deceit? I hope so!
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
should be outlawed
I believe agencies like these should be outlawed, because they could prove to be quite deadly.

What if the spouse who hired them is an insane person, and when he/she see the video, goes totally mad, and murders the spouse? Of course, this is quite possible, and I'm sure it's already happened.

I find these agencies despicable.
sputnik
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:59 am (UTC)
This is entrapment. The cops can't put out a decoy for prostitution who actually solicits. All she can do is strut her stuff and play along. If the guy makes the move, then he's at fault. If she makes a move on him first, then it's her fault.

Now, more than likely the guy who hits on a prostitute would probably do so regardless of whether or not she solicited him, but it's possible (though unlikely) that he would not have initiated. Same goes for this.
(Deleted comment)
sputnik
Oct. 3rd, 2006 10:22 am (UTC)
Well, it's only prostitution if they actually have sex with the guy, and it sounds like they don't.

John Wayne would tell the little filly to move along
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:41 pm (UTC)
unsuspecting guy
In my city, cops ALWAYS have female cop pretending to be prostitutes, and when the poor unsuspecting guy (who often times had no intentions to bed a prosty, falls for the bait). He is then arrested, and in the morning, his name appears in the newspaper.

I find this kind of treachery on the polices part, treacherous, and oh so destructive to the man's family, who are innocent!

This happens everyday in my city.
nsingman
Oct. 3rd, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
I'd say that it would damage the trust in the relationship, but in such a circumstance, the trust was already damaged. Personally, I'm happy to ogle women, and my wife has no objections to that; her rule is "look, but don't touch." One of the benefits of not believing myself to be physically attractive is that, as an earlier respondent suggested, I'd assume that it was some sort of scam if a woman came on to me.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 02:26 pm (UTC)
relationship
My mom and dad had a relationship somewhat to yours.

Dad had an eye for the pretty women, and mom knew it, but she didn't mind because she knew he loved her and was faithful to her.
ormembar
Oct. 3rd, 2006 01:57 am (UTC)
Es muy cierto lo que dicen los demas, si tientas a cualquiera, tarde o temprano caera, hombre o mujer no importa que tan fiel seas...pero esta muy bueno eso que te prohibieran regresar a tu bar favorito...
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 06:47 pm (UTC)
libre y tranquila
Que feo ha de ser, vivir con una persona tan desconfiada, que llega a tales extremos de pagar dinero para que alguin vijile a la persona.

Vivir con una persona con tanto celo y orgullo, creo que fuera tremendamente dificil vivir una vida libre y tranquila.
ormembar
Oct. 5th, 2006 01:22 am (UTC)
Re: libre y tranquila
Si, eso nos es vida, creo que una buena relación debe existir confianza
desar
Oct. 3rd, 2006 02:09 am (UTC)
That wouldn't work on me. #1 I am loyal when I am with someone #2 Women that are really forward usually indicates there is something seriously wrong (like they might mug you!)
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:15 pm (UTC)
undercover
In my city, there are undercover policewomen who will approach men at night, pretending to be prostitutes. When the man falls for the bait, he is arrested, and the next morning, his name is in the newspaper.

I believe this is totally wrong, because it affects the entire family. The children of this man will have to endure the cruelty of other children. And I'm sure this could lead toward a divorce, or possibly the wife eventually murdering the husband.

I only see great harm in such tactics by the police.
mysticpickle
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:10 am (UTC)
I have always always ALWAYS said "NEVER ask a question you don't want the answer to!".
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 02:36 pm (UTC)
crazy
Isn't it crazy that they spend all that money to hire one, and then after they're told he's a cheater, they still stay with them?

Your little quote makes a great deal sense!
photosexual
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:27 am (UTC)
Anyone in a relationship that needs to hire someone else as tempting bait to know the other person's motives, thoughts and weaknesses needs to just get the hell out of the relationship by the time they ponder this thought.

You really either know each other, and accept them for who they are, or you keep on looking for Mr. or Mrs. right until you have no concern about what they do with strangers out of your paranoid boundaries. I learned a long time ago that the person most worried about cheating is far worse than the potential cheater. There is no trust or sanity in checking up on this stuff. Communication and knowing what you want wins every time.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:01 pm (UTC)
miserable
I believe that these people will never find Mr. or Ms. Right, because they already have this sickness inside that makes them suspicious of anybody they're in a relationship with, whether that person is faithful or not.

A person who can never trust, is a miserable person, and makes the other miserable, too.
scottj32
Oct. 3rd, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)
Yea Im agreeing with everyone else here.

Women are just as bad, if not, worse than men.

Im currently messing around with another girl that has a boyfriend.

Women really dont give a damn if theyre taken or not. Ive fooled around with way too many 'taken' women.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:55 pm (UTC)
two timing assholes
Not all men and woman are two timing assholes, Sweety Pie. The majority are faithful.

Keep away from the type of girls you're dating. You're playing with fire!
hajiomatic
Oct. 3rd, 2006 08:05 am (UTC)
And my response is: OINK!
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:35 pm (UTC)
Mr. Crispy
You're not going to get away from me so easily!

You are filled with wisdom, and I want to know your thoughts on this, Mr. Crispy!!
moon_shine
Oct. 3rd, 2006 11:14 am (UTC)
All I have to say is I love You!!! :O)
Hugs and lots of Kisses my Hot chilly Pepper,*A Big Wink Wink*
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC)
Love you, too, Sweet Stuff.
mr_lunch
Oct. 3rd, 2006 02:24 pm (UTC)
The entire premise is dishonest. Hiring someone who's goal is to seduce someone means that the relationship is over. Really, if you don't trust him that MUCH than just call the whole thing off.

Women who do this either need help, or are looking for proof to cry about while eating ice cream with their six cats.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:52 pm (UTC)
accountable
I wonder if a death came out of this, if the Mate Check PI business, would be held accountable.

I feel it's inexcusable for this type of business to even exist.
see_dog
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:54 pm (UTC)
Ummm....well how hot is she??

Alright but seriously. If you are in a relationship and you don't trust your mate...maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship period. I mean...what if you hire this person..and find out nothing..and he finds out what you did....do you think the relationship will ever be the same? I doubt it. I say..don't go to the trouble...end it..because without trust and respect..a relationship is nothing.
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
pride
If he/she finds out, I can't see how in the world the relationship could possibly survive.

A person who would hire someone to do this, has no pride what-so-ever!
see_dog
Oct. 4th, 2006 05:08 pm (UTC)
Re: pride
EXACTLY!
a_phoenix
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:02 pm (UTC)
Manipulative and dishonest....
playgirl
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
Absolutely!
olafthunderfoot
Oct. 11th, 2006 03:49 am (UTC)
it's entrapment pure and simple!!!! if ya don't trust yer partner, go be a nun and live in a monastary!
( 43 comments — Leave a comment )

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